The Brony Code
by vandamac
Summary: When she learns all her friends started dating before her, Rainbow Dash feels left out, so she devotes all her time to training and trying out for the Wonderbolts, learning along the way that love is different for everypony and isn't always simple.
1. Not the First

**Disclaimer:** I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

**Summary:** Rainbow Dash doesn't understand romance and thinks it has no place in her life until she befriends Soarin', who she gradually falls in love with. As she tries to beat him in an aerial challenge and win his heart along with a place alongside him in the Wonderbolts, she forms a close friendship with Big Macintosh who helps her train. One pony who doesn't think plus one pony who doesn't listen plus one pony who doesn't speak equals one awkward love triangle. Big Macintosh X Rainbow Dash X Soarin' (Wonderbolt).

**A/N:** This is my first fanfic. I'm British, so I use British-English spellings.

I've T-rated this for safety. Some adult language and references, but mostly all subtext and referential – if you know what it is, it's dirty, if you don't, it's just something said or done in the story.

Also, the romance elements of this story will develop over several chapters, so anyone looking for quick gratification might want to try a different fic!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Not The First<strong>

"This is so awesome!" Scootaloo said, grinning up at the darkening sky.

"Our first camping trip!" Apple Bloom said.

"With no other ponies around!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Facing the wilderness all alone for a whole night is bound to help us finally get our cutie marks!" Scootaloo declared.

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom agreed. "We can take on anything! And maybe we'll finally figure out our special skills!"

"What was that?" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

All three fillies turned to face the bush they had heard a rustling sound emanate from.

"It was probably just a rabbit," Scootaloo said.

"Or a fox," Apple Bloom said warily.

"Or a monster!" Sweetie Belle yelped.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders started to worry again, but when a rabbit leapt out of the bushes they all breathed a collective sigh of relief and then set about setting up camp again; blissfully unaware of the ponies hiding behind a nearby bush who had just shoved a rabbit towards them to keep their location a secret.

"What are you doing out here?" Rarity hissed, crouching lower behind the bush.

"I could ask y'all the same question, Rarity!" Applejack whispered back.

"I thought you said the girls would be just fine out here on their own!" Rarity argued back.

"I did!" Applejack replied. "But I only said that to make 'em feel all grown up like. Ya didn't really think I was just gonna let those lil' fillies come out into the woods all on their lonesome, did ya?"

"Yes, I did! That's why I came out here, through all this horrible boggy mud! Somebody has to keep an eye on those girls!"

Applejack started to giggle, quickly covering her mouth with her hooves to contain the sound.

"Oh well, at least we can keep each other company tonight," Rarity said with a sigh. "I wasn't really looking forward to sleeping out in this wilderness on my own."

"You're stayin' out here all night?" Applejack asked.

"Of course I am!" Rarity replied.

"With what?" Applejack asked. "Where's your campin' gear?"

"Darling please, I am a lady of comfort: I do not own "camping gear"."

"…Just as well I came too then, huh?"

Rarity gasped as Applejack indicated the tent she had erected behind a fallen tree and covered with leaves to keep it hidden.

"You're going to sleep in there?" she asked.

"I've only got the one sleepin' bag, but we could share," Applejack replied.

"Oh my… We are to share one sleeping bag and sleep inside a canvas triangle on the ground?" Rarity said.

"Or ya could just sleep out here behind this here bush," Applejack said flatly.

Rarity gulped, looking about her surroundings bleakly before resigning herself to her fate.

"I didn't really think this through, I suppose," she said, hanging her head in defeat. "I was just worried that something might happen to my little sister if I wasn't close by."

"Me too," Applejack said, touching a hoof to Rarity's shoulder. "And don't worry, it's a big sleepin' bag."

Rarity nodded.

"Atta girl, Rarity!" Applejack said cheerfully.

"Hey, when did we decide we were going on a camping trip?"

Rarity barely managed to hold in a cry of alarm as Rainbow Dash dropped onto the ground behind her.

"Hush, RD!" Applejack hissed, nodding her head to one side to indicate the Cutie Mark Crusaders' campsite.

Rainbow Dash craned her neck to peer over the bush at the three young fillies who had – luckily for Applejack and Rarity – not noticed Rainbow Dash's arrival.

"Oh, I get it!" Rainbow Dash whispered. "We're hiding here until it gets dark, and then we're gonna scare them!"

"No, of course not!" Rarity said.

"We're just here to make sure they don't get themselves into any bother is all," Applejack added.

"Oh, I get it!" Rainbow Dash said. "This is boring! See ya!"

Rainbow Dash started to fly up but came crashing back down when Applejack stepped on the tip of her tail.

"We ain't stupid, RD," Applejack said with a smile as she met Rainbow Dash's angry and questioning pink eyes glaring up at her. "We know the real reason ya came here was because ya wanted to check on your biggest fan Scootaloo."

"Did not!" Rainbow Dash retorted.

"Oh, how sweet!" Rarity said cheerfully.

"Ya can stay, but we only got the one sleepin' bag," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash gathered herself up, yanking her tail out from under Applejack's hoof.

"I'll stay," she said. "But only because you two need someone to look out for you."

"Y'all keep tellin' yourself that…" Applejack muttered.

"This could be fun for us too, ladies," Rarity said brightly.

"I thought you hated dirt and sleeping outdoors?" Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Yes, but the experience would be more pleasant for me if we made it fun," Rarity replied.

"Let's play a game!" Applejack suggested.

"That sounds like fun!" Rarity agreed. "What shall we play?"

"How about truth or dare?" Rainbow Dash suggested sarcastically.

"I got a much better idea…" Applejack said slyly.

Rainbow Dash perked up as she saw the devious look in her friend's green eyes.

"We're the grown ups on this campin' trip, so it only makes sense that we play a grown up game," Applejack said.

"Where are you going?" Rarity whispered as Applejack started off towards her nearby tent.

When Applejack did not answer her, Rarity turned to Rainbow Dash, who shrugged to show that she was as confused as the unicorn was. A few moments later Applejack emerged from the tent with a large bottle of some kind of brown liquid, labelled with the logo of Sweet Apple Acres. She stood the bottle down in front of Rarity and Rainbow Dash and then sat back.

"This, ladies, is a bottle of ma family's finest cider concentrate," she explained.

"Is it wise to drink that tonight?" Rarity asked sceptically. "We are, after all, here to look after the girls."

"What's the matter, princess?" Rainbow Dash asked, elbowing Rarity in the ribs. "Ya chicken?"

"And besides, if ya play the game right, ya don't ever have to drink a single drop," Applejack said.

"Alright, how do we play?" Rarity reluctantly said.

"The game is called "I never"," Applejack said. "We all each gotta say somethin' we ain't never done, and if either of the other two have done that thing, they gotta take a drink. We keep goin' until the bottle is empty."

"This is so awesome!" Rainbow Dash said, grinning brightly. "I'm gonna win this for sure! There's like nothing I've never done!"

"But Rainbow Dash, if you've done everything you'll lose, because–"

Rarity stopped short as Applejack stamped a hoof at her. She gave Applejack a questioning look but Applejack simply winked. Rarity smiled and nodded, deciding that not correcting Rainbow Dash would not only teach the cocky pegasus a lesson, but it would also ensure she and Applejack remained sober enough to watch over their sisters.

"I'll go first," Applejack said. "I've never flown."

"Ha, I fly all the time!" Rainbow Dash said, grabbing up the bottle and taking a swig.

"And I have flown too," Rarity said. "Just the once, when Twilight Sparkle made me those beautiful wings… But that still counts, I suppose."

Rarity took a sip from the bottle, her eyes watering as she swallowed back the drink.

"Oh my, that is potent!" she said hoarsely.

"My turn!" Rainbow Dash said eagerly. "I've never won a rodeo!"

Applejack took a drink and Rarity sighed in relief.

"My turn now," Rarity said. "I have never challenged another pony to a race."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash each took a drink.

"I've never placed a bet on the Wonderbolts' derby," Applejack said.

"Oh dear…" Rarity mumbled.

Applejack's eyebrows shot up in surprise – she had been sure that Rainbow Dash would have been the only one to take a drink.

"I've never, um…" Rainbow Dash began, trying to think of something she had never done; after all, she had done pretty much everything.

"I've never spied on my little sister when she went on a camping trip!" she said.

"You don't even have a little sister!" Rarity complained.

"Well, it still counts," Applejack said. "Your turn, Rarity."

"I've never gone more than four hours without combing my mane and tail," Rarity said snootily.

Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never done a sonic rainboom," Applejack said, grinning darkly when only Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never, um, I, uh," Rainbow Dash begun. "Um… I've never been a Cutie Mark Crusader?"

"None of us has ever done that," Rarity pointed out.

"I know, but it's real difficult for me to think of things I haven't done already!" Rainbow Dash moaned.

"Well it's my turn now," Rarity said. "I've never spent a day with the Wonderbolts."

Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never won the Best Young Flyer Competition," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never, um… Uh…"

Rainbow Dash scratched at her head with the tip of one hoof.

"Um… I've never eaten a porcupine?"

Rarity glanced over at Applejack, who winked cheerfully.

"I've never been to flight school," Rarity said.

Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never been kicked outta flight school," Applejack said,

Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never… Joined the Wonderbolts?"

"I've never wanted to join the Wonderbolts."

Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"I've never tried to join the Wonderbolts."

Rainbow Dash took a drink.

"This bottle's almost empty. I guess I better make this a good one to secure my victory by the most number of drinks."

Applejack and Rarity exchanged amused grins.

"I've never kissed a boy."

Applejack and Rarity both gasped.

"Um, good one, Dash…" Applejack muttered, picking up the bottle.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened slightly as she watched her friend take a drink.

"Yes, I didn't think you were ever going to realise the point of this game," Rarity said, taking the bottle from Applejack.

Rarity finished the bottle, coughing daintily as the drink once more burned her throat.

"Wait, that's cheating!" Rainbow Dash said, stumbling slightly as she tried to stand, ultimately ending up sitting down again as her legs failed her. "You only get to take a drink if you did do the thing I said I never did!"

"Yeah," Applejack slowly replied. "And I have kissed boys, so I did take a drink."

"No, no, no!" Rainbow Dash protested, shaking her head until she started to feel a little nauseous. "I didn't mean like when you kiss your brother AJ, or when you kiss your dad, Rarity."

"We know that," Rarity casually replied.

"Well… Kissing Spike doesn't count either!" Rainbow Dash countered.

"I know that too," Rarity said, her tone lower and her face darkening.

"Still, I gotta say, I'm mighty surprised ya ain't never kissed a boy before, Dash," Applejack said. "I mean, ya always told me y'all were first at everything, I just assumed ya had your first kiss years ago!"

"Come now Applejack, it's not that simple," Rarity said. "A girl doesn't just go out and kiss a boy because she reaches a certain age or time in her life."

"That's how it was for me," Applejack flatly replied. "Me an' ma friends at school decided one summer that we was all gonna have our first kisses before fall. And we did."

"That's uncouth!"

"Oh and I suppose you only kiss princes?"

"Of course not. But I was at least in love with the first boy I kissed."

"I've kissed boys I thought I was in love with too. I'm talkin' about your first ever kiss. Ya know, the one you and your friends all did when you was…"

Applejack eyed Rarity over slowly.

"Never mind," she concluded.

"You've kissed more than one boy, AJ?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Sure," Applejack replied.

"And you've kissed more than one boy too Rarity?" Rainbow Dash asked, turning to Rarity.

"Yes dear," Rarity replied.

"But… I'm always first at everything, why wasn't I first at this?"

"Have ya ever tried to kiss a boy?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow Dash shook her head.

"Have you ever wanted to kiss a boy?" Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash shook her head again.

"Have ya ever wanted to kiss a girl?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow Dash shook her head a third time.

"Well, one day I'm sure you'll meet a lovely pony who you will want to kiss," Rarity said sweetly.

"Now you're making me sound like a loser," Rainbow Dash moaned. "Like you think I need your pity or something."

"Heh, I guess we're just surprised, is all," Applejack said casually. "Ya are usually first at everything, and given how confident ya are, I kinda thought you'da started datin' before ya even got your cutie mark."

"Dating?" Rainbow Dash echoed. "You guys have been dating too?"

"A lady doesn't just kiss a man for the sake of it, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said haughtily. "A lady needs to be courted before she allows a man to kiss her."

"Can't say I ever forced a boy to treat me like a princess," Applejack said. "If I liked him and he liked me that was good enough for the both of us. But, y'know, different strokes for different folks, I guess."

"But I've never even thought about dating anyone…" Rainbow Dash muttered.

"I remember my first ever date," Rarity said with a whimsical smile. "He was so nervous, it was just adorable!"

"Everypony gets nervous on a first date," Applejack said. "Whether it's the first date ever or just the first date with somepony new."

"You've both dated more than one dude?" Rainbow Dash asked, glancing back and forth between her two friends.

"First dates can be so magical," Rarity said with a sigh.

"And so awkward," Applejack said, rolling her eyes.

"And so alien…" Rainbow Dash muttered.

"I've had awkward first dates," Rarity said.

"I've had magical first dates," Applejack said.

"I'm having a magically awkward moment right now…" Rainbow Dash grumbled.

Rarity gasped quietly, glancing over at Applejack, who was looking down at Rainbow Dash worriedly.

"Maybe we should save our first date stories for some other time," Rarity suggested.

"Uh, yeah, that sounds good," Applejack agreed.

"Come along Rainbow Dash, why don't you tell us how many new records you broke today?" Rarity said, smiling warmly at the blue pegasus slumped on the ground in front of her.

Rainbow Dash glowered up at Rarity and Applejack, her lips slowly peeling back to reveal her tightly clenched teeth.

"Hey, it's no big shakes to not be first at somethin', RD," Applejack tried.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Rainbow Dash snapped, leaping to her feet.

"Oh, no, Applejack didn't mean to sound unkind!" Rarity hurriedly interjected.

"You can shut-up, too!" Rainbow Dash snorted at her. "I get it! You both think I'm pathetic because I'm third out of all of our friends to kiss a boy. So what? It's not like it's anything important!"

"If it ain't important, why are ya getting' so tetchy about it?" Applejack asked.

"Because you started it with your freckles and your stupid cowboy hat!"

"What?"

Applejack and Rarity both yelped involuntarily as Rainbow Dash rocketed into the air, creating a backdraft of air that almost knocked them over. As they righted themselves they realised that the bush they had been hiding behind had been rid of its leaves by the torrent of air, and all three Cutie Mark Crusaders were watching them with wide eyes.

"Oh dear…" Rarity whispered.

"Say, since y'all know we're here now," Applejack began slowly. "Does everypony think ma cowboy hat is stupid?"

"It is perhaps a little garish, but it's not stupid," Rarity replied.

"Garish?" Applejack growled.

Rarity laughed nervously as Applejack glowered at her: but before they could discuss Applejack's hat any further, the Cutie Mark Crusaders all began complaining about being spied on.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was flying aimlessly around the skies of Ponyville. She had started to head for home, but a mixture of anger and nausea had caused her to start circling the skies of the small town instead. She hated not being first and she hated losing, and she had just found out that she was not the first of her friends to do something, and she had just realised that she had lost the "I never" game: the object of the game was not to drink as many times as possible, rather it was to drink as few times as possible, to deliberately say things you knew your friends had done to force them to drink. Clever answers were swirling around Rainbow Dash's mind, like "I've never designed clothing" and "I've never known the difference between a Braeburn and a Cox's Pippin", and her competitive streak was fuelling her ire as she realised how ridiculous her loss was at both the drinking game and at not being first at something two of her friends had already done – multiple times!

Rainbow Dash started to slow down, her thoughts melting away as she began to feel incredibly sick. She let herself drift downwards, not looking where she was going as she tried to ignore the cold sweat she was breaking out in. Her rear hooves touched boggy ground mere seconds before her mouth deposited the contents of her stomach into a trough. She groaned and stumbled back a step, looking about to find that she had landed in the pigsty on Sweet Apple Acres.

Well, she thought, pigs apparently ate anything, so clean-up was not an issue. She looked about to check that nopony had noticed her presence before creeping over to the fence and leaping over it. She felt worse than before she had vomited, but she pressed on regardless, determined to escape the farm before anypony caught her there; she made it as far as Winona's kennel before tripping over a rock and landing face-first into the dog's water bowl. Rainbow Dash lifted her head, coughed out a mouthful of water and began shaking off the excess water from her face until doing so made her feel sick again. She tried to push herself up but slid down again, barely managing to keep her face from plunging into the water again.

It was then, on her second fall, that Rainbow Dash noticed the pony-shaped shadow that had fallen over her. She slowly turned her head, sighing in relief when she saw Big Macintosh standing behind her, watching her curiously.

"Hey Big Macintosh," she greeted him. "Boy am I glad to see you! I thought you were Applejack at first, and I… Well I guess it wouldn't make any sense for Applejack to be out here, since she's still spying on those kids… Anyway, I was just… Thirsty."

Rainbow Dash grinned up at Big Macintosh, but he remained expressionless.

"So, um, I'll just be going now then," she said, pushing herself up to her feet with great effort.

Big Macintosh sniffed at the air around her before leaning closer to her and sniffing again, his eyes opening wide and his head whipping back suddenly.

"Um, I was drinking your family's crazy super cider concentrate," Rainbow Dash explained.

"Eeyup," he said.

"And, um, I guess maybe I had a little bit too much," she reluctantly admitted. "I don't think I can fly home tonight."

"Nope."

"I guess I'll just walk."

Rainbow Dash started to walk away, staggering slightly as she went. She managed to come within sight of the entranceway to Sweet Apple Acres before she collapsed again. Her eyelids felt too heavy to hold open and her legs refused to lift her body; but before long she found herself rising up and moving again. She had already started to fall asleep, but before she closed her eyes for the last time that night, she looked to one side and realised that she was slouched over Big Macintosh's back, and he was carrying her back towards the farm.

* * *

><p>In the next chapter, Rainbow Dash tries to come to terms with being the third out of the six girls to have her first kiss, but after a visit to Pinkie Pie, she finds out she's not even third. Rainbow Dash then visits Twilight Sparkle for some advice but comes away feeling worse than before.<p> 


	2. Not the Third

**Chapter 2 – Not the Third**

Rainbow Dash awoke slowly, blinking against a single, thin ray of light that felt painfully bright to look directly at. She fought with her bedding until she had managed to bury her head beneath it, but she only felt a little better once she had blocked out the light. Her throat was dry, her head ached and she felt like she might be sick at any moment. It was the most awful feeling she had ever experienced.

Until about ten seconds later, when she remembered that she felt that way because of the concentrated cider she had drank during a game she had played with Applejack and Rarity, where she had learned that the farmer and the fashionista had both done something pretty significant before she had. Being third was the most awful feeling Rainbow Dash had ever experienced.

Until about another ten seconds later, when she remembered that she had passed out on Big Macintosh's back the night before, and now she had woken up in a strange bed, in a strange place.

Rainbow Dash threw off her covers and leaped out of the bed, looking about herself desperately. Her eyes momentarily lost focus, her hangover not letting up as quickly as she needed it to. She was in a small and rustic bedroom, which, thanks to its minimalist décor, gave no clue as to whom it belonged to or where it was located. Rainbow Dash tiptoed to the door, quietly opening it just far enough that she could peer out into the hallway beyond. When she saw no movement and no more clue as to where she was, she opened the door wider, sticking her head out into the hallway and glancing up and down the length of it.

"Uh oh!" she blurted out as she spotted an apple painted on a door further down the hallway.

Apparently she was in Applejack's house.

"Applejack? Is that you?"

Rainbow Dash hurriedly leapt back into the room, closing the door again. She paused, listening carefully over the sound of her suddenly racing heart to the sound of little hooves clopping down the hallway.

"Applejack?"

It was Apple Bloom, apparently back already from her camping trip; which left Rainbow Dash wondering what time of day it actually was.

"Granny Smith?"

Apple Bloom's hooves passed the door and Rainbow Dash silently sighed in relief. She then leapt over the bed and tore open the curtains. The view outside only confirmed that she was indeed still on the farm, the window overlooking a dirt field, the orchard visible in the distance. The last thing she needed was to have to deal with Applejack after the events of the night before, and so she threw open the window and launched herself out of it, flying up and over the roof of the house and away from the farm as fast as she could.

"Phew, that was close!"

Rainbow Dash screamed in shock, losing altitude as a glance over her shoulder revealed Pinkie Pie sitting on her back. The two crash-landed in some bushes, both luckily avoiding major injury.

"Pinkie Pie!" Rainbow Dash yelled, tugging her tail out of the branches. "What were you doing back there?"

"Just making sure number five wasn't violated," Pinkie Pie replied, looking as though she was the one who had been wronged.

"I don't even wanna know what that's supposed to mean!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm going home."

"No, wait!"

Rainbow Dash paused, glaring at Pinkie Pie threateningly.

"You promised you'd help me put up my banners for the party today, remember?" Pinkie Pie said sweetly.

"Why are you having a party today?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It's the "Welcome Back From Your Camping Trip" party for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Pinkie Pie replied.

"Of course it is," Rainbow Dash grumbled. "Fine, let's just get this over with."

She picked her way out of the bushes and started towards Pinkie Pie's house. Pinkie Pie bounced after her, catching up to her as they neared their destination.

"So why do you have your grumpy boots on today, Dashie?" the party-loving pony asked.

"I drank some concentrated cider last night, and I feel sick now," Rainbow Dash flatly replied.

"Ooh, I have just the thing for that!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.

"You do?" Rainbow Dash asked sceptically.

"M-hm," Pinkie Pie replied with a nod of her head. "I am the master of all things party, remember?"

"What does that have to do with… Never mind. Just give me it."

"Okay doki loki!"

Rainbow Dash followed Pinkie Pie into her house to the kitchen, cringing as the pony began preparing a glass of something that apparently required a song to be complete.

"When you've been drinking lots of cider and you're feeling sick! I have just the cure for you, it will do the trick! A little dash of alka seltzer, watch the water froth! No more feeling sad and sick and as slow as a sloth! Add a pinch of sugar and little bit of salt! If it doesn't work then it's not my fault!"

"What?"

"Stir it up and mix it round, swirly, swirly, swirl! The perfect cure for the out of control girl!"

"Hey!"

"It tastes so bad but works to good it really makes you think! Maybe next time you want cider stop before you drink!"

Rainbow Dash snatched the glass from Pinkie Pie, relieved to find that the song had apparently finished, and, despite the vile taste of the potion the party pony had made, Raindow Dash gladly drank it in one go.

"Yuk!" she complained as she handed the glass back to Pinkie Pie.

"Weren't you listening to the song?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Unfortunately, yes…"

"Didn't you hear the part about the taste being important?"

"Not exactly. It sounded more like a lecture than good advice or a warning. Maybe you should change the lyrics. Or the tune. Or just not bother with the song at all."

"Not bother with the song? That's crazy talk!"

Rainbow Dash coughed involuntarily. The only thing worse than the vile taste of the drink was the horrid after-taste she was experiencing; but she already felt better from drinking whatever had been in the glass.

"So where are the banners you need me to put up?" she asked, hoping to change the subject: pride would not allow her to admit that the disgusting taste had been worth it, but likewise she could not bring herself to lie about its effectiveness.

"Ooh, they're over here!" Pinkie Pie said, skipping over to two piles of cloth by one wall.

Each pony picked up a pile, gathering the fabric in their mouths and then flinging the bulk over their backs. They made their way outside and Rainbow Dash flew up with her banner, watching Pinkie Pie for directions of where to hang it.

"Left a bit," Pinkie Pie called up to her. "Up a bit… Right a bit… Right a bit… Too far right!"

Rainbow Dash growled quietly to herself in frustration.

"Perfect! Hang it right there!"

Rainbow Dash began tying the rope at one end of the banner around a drainpipe, a thought occurring to her as she did so.

"Hey Pinkie Pie?" she called down, keeping her eyes on her work as she spoke. "Have you ever, you know, had a boyfriend?"

"Have I ever had a boyfriend?" Pinkie Pie echoed, her tone incredulous.

"Ha, I know right?" Rainbow Dash laughed. "Stupid question, huh?"

"Well, yeah!" Pinkie Pie replied. "Of course I've had a boyfriend!"

Rainbow Dash inadvertently dropped the unhung end of the banner, which fell to the ground, swamping Gummy, who had just stepped outside to find out what his owner was up to.

"Y-you have?" Rainbow Dash asked, lowering herself down to the ground.

"Well sure I have, silly!" Pinkie Pie cheerfully answered.

"Oh…" Rainbow Dash muttered. "And, um, you like, um, kissed him and stuff?"

"Isn't that what you're meant to do with a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I-I guess so."

Rainbow Dash grabbed up the loose end of the banner, swatting away Gummy when he tried to bite her ankle. She started to fly back up, but stopped partway as she felt her tail pull tight. She looked back over her shoulder to see Pinkie Pie biting onto the end of her tail, looking up at her sternly.

"I'm not moving this thing, I've already started hanging it," Rainbow Dash warned her.

Pinkie Pie spat out Rainbow Dash's tail.

"We can't talk about this!" she said, sounding somewhere between anger and sulkiness. "It violates the code, and I can't let that happen!"

"The code…? What are talking about now, Pinkie?"

"The Brony Code!"

"The what?"

"The Brony Code!"

"What in the hay is a "brony code"?"

"It's only the most important, most super-secret special set of secrets known only to colts and stallions!"

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes sceptically.

"If it's only know to colts and stallions, how do you know about it, you dizzy mare?" she asked.

"I got an itchy back left hoof, a twitchy ear and I sneezed five times!"

"…So?"

"So that means rule number five of the Brony Code will be broken!"

"Um… Okay… I'm just gonna… Hang this banner now…"

Rainbow Dash flew up and began tying up the end of the banner.

"Crazy nag," she muttered under her breath as she set about her task.

"I'm watching you, freckles!"

Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder to see who Pinkie's last remark was aimed at, but failed to see anyone anywhere nearby apart from Big Macintosh, who was on his way to deliver a cart of apples to the local fruit market some distance away. She drifted back down and carefully pulled the second banner from Pinkie Pie's back, quickly flying up out of reach with it before asking where she ought to hang it. She had no idea what the "Brony Code" was, and nor did she care. The only thing she was concerned with was the fact that Pinkie Pie had kissed a boy too. It had been frustrating enough to learn that she was third to kiss a boy, but now it seemed that she was apparently fourth. Of six. She was in the loser half of her friends at something, and that was unacceptable.

As soon as she had completed her task, Rainbow Dash called out a hurried goodbye to Pinkie Pie and flew off, heading quickly towards the library: the only way to nurse her ego back to full health was to find somepony who would never out-first her at something like kissing.

"Hey Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said as she soared through the open window into the library.

"Oh, hi Rainbow!" Twilight Sparkle replied. "I am so glad you're here!"

"Me too!"

Rainbow Dash landed and folded her wings over her back, only then noticing the odd look Twilight Sparkle was giving her.

"I'm glad you're here because I have to clean and restock the top shelf of books, and with you here to help I can do it twice as fast," Twilight Sparkle said slowly. "Why are you glad that you're here?"

"Um..." Rainbow Dash began awkwardly. "Because I totally knew you needed my help, and I'm just glad that I got here in time before you tried to do all this stuff yourself and ended up making a mess."

"Oh wow Rainbow, you remembered that I said I was cleaning my top shelf?" Twilight Sparkle said. "I didn't think anypony was even listening to me when I was talking about all the chores I had planned for this week – but you not only listened, you remembered which ones I was doing on which days, and which one you could best help me with! You really are a great friend, Rainbow!"

Rainbow Dash laughed nervously.

"Uh yeah!" she said awkwardly. "What can I say? I'm just so awesome!"

"You really are!" Twilight Sparkle said sweetly. "Well, let's get started!"

"Okay. What d'you need me to do first?"

"Well if you empty the shelves, I'll clean, Spike will sort the books you take down and then you can put them back up once the shelves have been cleaned. That way we can all work together in a sort of conveyor belt of activity!"

"I was on my way to visit Rarity," Spike grumbled.

"You can visit her when we're done," Twilight Sparkle suggested. "We won't be long, especially not now that we've got Rainbow Dash to help us out."

"Okay," Spike said, sitting down with a sigh.

Rainbow Dash flew up to the start of the top-most shelf and began throwing down books, only stopping when she realised that both Twilight Sparkle and Spike were yelling at her. She looked back over her shoulder and saw open books splayed all over the floor and all over Spike, and Twilight Sparkle looking shocked and angry.

"Those are the antique books, Rainbow Dash!" the librarian unicorn explained. "You have to be very careful with them – that's part of the reason why I needed somepony else to help me with this task! Carry them down here, don't throw them down!"

"Oh, right, sorry Twilight!" Rainbow Dash replied.

She then carefully removed as many books as she could comfortably hold in her front legs before drifting back down to the ground and placing them down beside Spike, who was visibly relieved by her altered strategy. Twilight Sparkle, using her magic, began dusting the emptied shelf space and Spike began sorting the books according to the list Twilight Sparkle had made for him.

"Hey, this is a pretty freaky old book," Rainbow Dash said as she descended with another stack of books, her eyes fixed on the cover of the book at the top of the pile. ""The Art of Enchantment". It's got a weird picture of a pony with crazy eyes on the cover."

Twilight Sparkle sighed and Rainbow Dash looked over at her to see that she was smiling and suddenly had a faraway look on her face.

"Lemme guess, you've read this book ten times more than any of the others?" Rainbow Dash asked as she placed the books down.

"No, I just have happy memories of the first time I ever read that book," Twilight Sparkle replied.

"Ugh," Rainbow Dash groaned, dragging herself back up to the top shelf.

"There was only one copy of that book in the library at Canterlot, and every time I visited, the book was always checked out by somepony else," Twilight Sparkle explained. "But one day I "accidentally" saw the list of books that had been checked out, and I got the name of the pony who had the book. He was a unicorn a year ahead of me at magic school."

"A unicorn at magic school," Rainbow Dash said through a yawn as she placed down another pile of books. "Gee, imagine that…"

"I tracked him down, because I wanted to ask him to stop checking the book out, even for just one day, so that I could read it," Twilight Sparkle continued, unperturbed by Rainbow Dash's sarcasm. "He was a total bookworm, and a little clumsy and awkward, but he let me have the book. When I gave it back to him, we started talking, and, well, you know…"

"No, I don't know."

"You know!"

"I don't care either…"

"He was my first boyfriend."

Spike cried out as several dusty tomes fell on his head, once more burying him. Rainbow Dash looked back over her shoulder, seeing the dust still settling around the mess she had created; but Twilight Sparkle appeared not to care.

"I know what you're thinking, so you can stop looking at me like that," she called up to Rainbow Dash. "I started dating pretty late, but I never really thought about boys romantically before I met him."

"So… You dated that guy?" Rainbow Dash asked, turning back towards the books she was hovering in front of.

"Yeah," Twilight Sparkle replied.

"And… You dated him?"

"Yes…"

"And… You… Um… You like, kissed him and stuff?"

"Yes, Rainbow Dash, I kissed him. I wasn't a total hermit before I came to Ponyville, you know!"

"Ha, hermit, yeah! Good one, Twi!"

Rainbow Dash hovered on point, her hooves held out towards the books, but she could not bring herself to continue with the task at hand: how was it possible that even a bookworm, egghead, social nerd like Twilight Sparkle had more experience dating than she did? How was it possible that Applejack and Rarity had more dating experience than her? Pinkie Pie she could almost accept, since the party pony knew everypony in Ponyville and most of the pegasi in Cloudsdale, and she was constantly hosting awesome parties; but how had all the others met and dated boys? And without her knowing? They all seemed so relaxed talking about their experiences too: had they spoken to each other about their experiences before? Did they know that she had never even thought about kissing anypony, let alone actually kissed somepony?

Maybe it had been their favourite conversation topic when they went on their "pony-pet play-dates".

"Rainbow?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "You okay there?"

"I gotta go!" Rainbow Dash yelped.

She shot out of the open window, ignoring the sound of her friend trying to call her back. Logic and good sense had fallen prey to paranoia: Rainbow Dash had to know if all her friends spoke about dating and kissing when she was not around, and the only way to know for sure was to ask the one friend she had who she knew was every bit as inexperienced as she was, the one friend who had not only attended every previous pony-pet play-date but had in fact invented the tradition: Fluttershy.

* * *

><p>In the next chapter, Rainbow Dash interrogates Fluttershy and is shocked by the answers she receives. Confused, angry and a little lost, Rainbow Dash returns to Cloudsdale to try to fix her problem, but ends up feeling worse than before; but a little advice from Big Macintosh gives her an idea of how to brighten her spirits.<p> 


	3. Not Even the Fifth

**A/N: **After watching "Read it and Weep", I figured if Rainbow Dash was the sort of pony to read aloud, she would probably also think aloud, hence all the spoken thoughts in this chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Not Even the Fifth<strong>

Rainbow Dash did not take long to locate Fluttershy. From the skies it was relatively easy to spot an unusually large congregation of wildlife, and such gatherings almost always meant Fluttershy was at work, feeding, homing, re-homing, counselling, nursing or generally just befriending the creatures of Equestria.

"Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash barked, landing with an ungracious thump, sending scores of squirrels scurrying in every direction.

"Oh, no, it's okay!" Fluttershy tried to assure her furry friends. "You're safe! It's just Rainbow Dash, and she means you no harm!"

Rainbow Dash waited, tapping one hoof impatiently, as the last of the rodents vanished from sight. Fluttershy watched the tree the last squirrel had taken refuge in, watching until the still-swaying leaves stilled before finally turning her attention to Rainbow Dash.

"Oh dear Rainbow Dash, I was trying to help the squirrels find a place to store acorns for the winter," she said. "I hope they come back, you gave them quite a scare. Oh, not that I'm saying I'm not happy to see you, or that you should be more quiet when you land, or that–"

"Yeah, I get it," Rainbow Dash cut her off. "Look, Fluttershy, I need to ask you a pretty important question pegasus to pegasus, you got me?"

"Um… You want to ask me a question about flying?" Fluttershy asked. "But why would you ask me? Everypony knows I'm the worst flyer to ever come out of Cloudsdale. That's why I live down here on the ground with the earth ponies and unicorns, remember?"

"It's not a question about flying," Rainbow Dash snapped irritably. "It's a question about kissing."

"Kissing?"

"Yes, kissing! You know what kissing is, don't you?"

"Well, of course I do. And, oh please don't be too upset or angry, and please know that I'm very flattered, but I just don't think of you in that way, Rainbow Dash. I'm so sorry, I can't kiss you."

"What?"

"You said you came to ask me about kissing."

"Yes?"

"Well, it's just that, even though you're an amazing friend, and you were so kind to me when we were little fillies in Cloudsdale and all those other pegasi bullied me, but I just don't think of you in a romantic way. I'm so sorry, I hope I haven't hurt your feelings, but I wanted to be honest with you. Oh dear, you look very upset, have I upset you? Oh, I'm so sorry! I do think you're very pretty, but I prefer stallions. I'm so sorry Rainbow Dash."

"Shut-up!"

"Sorry."

"I didn't come here to ask you to kiss me!"

"You didn't?"

"No!"

"Oh. Oh! Oh, well, thank goodness for that!"

"I came here because I just found out Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and even Twilight Sparkle have all kissed boys and been dating. Did you know about this?"

"Um, yes?"

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh, well, I suppose I just thought you already knew. I don't really like to talk about that sort of thing Rainbow Dash, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. The girls don't usually talk about it much around me."

"Oh… Well, yeah. Good. You're the same as me then."

"I am?"

"Yeah. You don't like to talk about it. That's cool."

"I don't mean to be rude, it's just that a kiss is a very sacred thing, and it should only be between the two ponies who share it."

"Right! Wait… Wait, what?"

Rainbow Dash felt a sickening cold dread flood down the length of her spine as she caught a slight change in Fluttershy's expression, a slight dip of her head that hid one of her eyes completely behind her pale pink mane.

"Wait, so, you're saying that…" she began.

"I'm sorry, I don't like talking about it," Fluttershy insisted. "Love is a personal and intimate thing, and I don't like talking about it in detail. I'm sorry if that offends you at all."

"But you have kissed somepony before, right?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, yes, of course I have, but I don't want to talk about it."

"How in the hay is that even possible?"

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologising for?"

"I don't know. You seem angry, and I feel like you're getting angrier the more I say. I'm such an inconsiderate big-mouth."

"No, that's not – look, you're not – I'm not angry – it's just that… You've really kissed somepony? You? You don't even talk to anypony else! You spend all day with the birds and the bees and then you hang out with the rest of us! How have you even had time to date?"

Fluttershy paused thoughtfully before answering.

"Are you sure you aren't angry because you wanted to date me?" she eventually asked.

"No!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "I mean yes! I mean no! Why did you have to word it like that? I mean I don't wanna date you! I just wanna… I just… I just wanna be alone!"

Rainbow Dash shot up into the air, again ignoring the sound of one of her friends calling her back. This was becoming ridiculous! How was it possible that all her friends had done something before she had? And they were all so confident about it, like it was normal. Maybe it was normal. Maybe she was the abnormal one for having not done it yet.

Rainbow Dash slowed to a halt, Cloudsdale in her sights. She hovered on point, watching the residents of her hometown mill about the clouds.

"Okay, this can't be so difficult, and I refuse to be a loser," she told herself aloud. "I just have to find somepony, make him kiss me, and then I'll know what all the fuss is about. And then I'm not a loser. And then I need to find somepony to go on a date with. Hm… It'll need to be somepony special. Twilight said she started dating late, and she was still in school when she had her first date, so that means I'm really late. So I need to find somepony else who's as late as I am… I need to find the biggest loser in Cloudsdale, make him kiss me, make him date me, and then I can concentrate on finding somepony as awesome, cool and radical as me, somepony everypony else would expect me to date, and then I can win!"

Rainbow Dash flew on again, landing on the clouds on the outskirts of Cloudsdale.

"Though I'm not really sure what I'm winning…" she muttered to herself. "I wonder what dates are like, anyway? It's just like hanging out, right? But with kissing. I think…"

"Hey Rainbow Dash, who ya talkin' to?"

Rainbow Dash lifted her head to see the ringleader of a trio of pegasi who had once teased her during her flight school days. Since witnessing her perform a Sonic Rainboom at the Best Young Flyer competition he had stopped calling her "Rainbow Crash", but she was only mildly less irritated by him.

"Hey, Dumbo?" she called up to him.

"It's Dumb-BELL!" he yelled back down at her.

"Yeah, right, whatever. When was the last time you went on a date?"

He visibly faltered, looking momentarily embarrassed, but quickly hid his discomfort behind anger.

"I've had plenty of girlfriends!" he said moodily.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah really! I've made more girlfriends than you could imagine!"

"Okay… So what about your two friends? Y'know, Poops and Snore?"

"Wh-what about my friends? And they're names are Hoops and Score!"

"Has either of them ever dated a girl?"

"…Why are you asking that? Is that supposed to be funny? Have you ever dated a boy, Rainbow Crash?"

Rainbow Dash sighed.

"So I guess that means no then," she said.

"More no than your face!"

Rainbow Dash gave Dumb-Bell a withering look, but he seemed not to notice how ridiculous his answer had been. She could not tell if he was being defensive because he had never dated or if he was simply too embarrassed to talk about his experiences; but either way, as she looked up at him and his stupid answer echoed around her mind, she quickly came to realise that the real reason for his ire was insignificant. Even if Dumb-Bell and his two lackeys were the biggest losers in Cloudsdale and the safest bet to be less experienced than she was, there was no way in Equestria Rainbow Dash could bring herself to actually kiss one of them, let alone try to date one of them.

Rainbow Dash started to walk along the circular cloud that circumnavigated Cloudsdale, her anger fading and confusion increasing as she went.

"I thought I just needed to kiss somepony and go on a date to save myself from being a loser," she muttered to herself as she walked. "And I thought anypony would do, since it's not like I'm serious about it right now. Applejack said she just went out and kissed somepony when she wanted to have her first kiss, so I thought it would be that easy. But if I'm gonna kiss somepony, I'm actually gonna have to kiss somepony, and I don't wanna just kiss anypony..."

Rainbow Dash took flight, ascending through the misty heights of her hometown, aiming for the topmost level, where the entrance to the sporting arena lay. She had spent many hours there in the past and knew that it was the best place to meet pegasus ponies who were cool, awesome and radical – maybe not the kind of ponies she ought to be looking for, but she decided to try regardless.

Inside the arena, Rainbow Dash found the usual collection of pegasi: the wannabe Wonderbolts (pegasi who dressed like the Wonderbolts and spent all their time training to join the Wonderbolts), aerial sports players practising and the cheering squad (pegasi who preferred to watch sports rather than participate). It was a generally accepted fact in Cloudsdale that spectator pegasi dated sporty pegasi – although Rainbow Dash knew very little about dating, she did at least know that much – and since she was clearly a sporty pegasus, Rainbow Dash decided she might have better luck finding a date amongst the pegasi cheering.

"So all I gotta do is show off my smooth moves, and bam!" she told herself, punching a hoof in the air in premature celebration of victory.

Rainbow Dash took her place by the starting line of the race circuit, pausing long enough to consider each of the lanes in turn before choosing the three-dimensional obstacle course – nopony could beat her on that course. There were three courses for testing a pegasus's speed: the clear course, which was just a clear section of sky looping around the arena; the two-dimensional obstacle course, which was the same route as the clear course, but it contained blocks of clouds and hoops of clouds to be dodged around or flown through; and there was the three-dimensional course, which again followed the same route as the other two, but contained many more obstacles, forcing racers to fly around, through, over and under.

But nopony in the whole of Equestria could beat Rainbow Dash on Cloudsdale's three-dimensional race circuit.

"Here goes nothing…" she said confidently, before racing off along the most challenging of circuits.

As she dodged, weaved, dipped, dived and soared her way around the intense obstacle course, leaving a glorious rainbow after-glow in her wake, Rainbow Dash could – even over the deafening whine of the wind in her ears – hear the cheering squad cheering for her. They sounded excited and their cries drove her on, daring her to get closer to each obstacle. The trick was, of course, to get as close to each obstacle as possible so as to travel as little distance as possible and so clear the circuit in as little time as possible; but the faster she flew, the more dangerous it became to get closer to the obstacles, as she had less time and less space to avoid them.

But she loved the thrill of it.

As she streaked over the finish line, Rainbow Dash heard words that were like sweet music to her ears.

"That pony just broke the record for the three-dimensional circuit!"

Rainbow Dash slowed to a halt, turning on the spot to see ponies going wild in the stands. She had not enjoyed such adulation since winning the Best Young Flyer competition, and she had almost forgotten how great it felt to be a winner and to be acknowledged as a winner.

"You just broke the record by 1.2 seconds!" an enthusiastic young cheer squad pony called out to her.

Rainbow Dash nonchalantly drifted over to the stands, bringing herself face-to-face with the almost hysterically excited mare.

"Ah, it was nothing!" she said.

"Oh, ew, you're a girl?" the cheer pony yelped, taking flight and backing away from Rainbow Dash.

"Um, yeah?" Rainbow Dash responded, too taken aback by the question to realise how insulting it was.

"That dude was a girl?" one of the stallions of the cheer squad asked.

"But he's blue," one of the other stallions pointed out.

"You get girl blue ponies!" one of the mares corrected him.

"Yeah, and I guess you get boy pink ponies?" he snorted sarcastically. "And besides, he wears his mane and tail like a stallion."

"I'm not a stallion, I'm a mare!" Rainbow Dash protested.

"But mares don't do the obstacle courses," one of stallions from the cheer squad answered her.

"Oh no?" Rainbow Dash echoed. "Then what do mares do here?"

"That."

Rainbow Dash looked in the direction the entire male section of the cheer squad appeared to be staring, finding a swathe of slender, delicate female pegasi performing boring acts of aerial ballet. She made a noise of disgust, but as she lowered her head again, she surveyed the length of the three circuits, her heart sinking at what she saw: there were plenty of other ponies using the three circuits, but not one of them was female.

"Doesn't it make me cool that I was the first mare to break a record on that course?" she tried, grinning at the cheer squad.

The mares all cringed back from her and the stallions all solemnly shook their heads.

"You idiots wouldn't know a good athlete if one jumped up and bit you in the cutie mark!" she snapped before launched herself up and over the top of the limits of the stadium.

Nothing was making any sense, and, with both her body and brain tiring, she sought out a lonely cloud to take an afternoon nap on.

Rainbow Dash's afternoon nap lasted much, much longer than she had meant it to, meaning she had to rush about her weather duties, barely finishing her work before nightfall. Thanks to over-sleeping during the day, she was not nearly tired enough to go home for the night, and so she did something she never had before: she went to the Cloudsdale sports bar.

Rainbow Dash was neither a fan of heavy drinking nor bars (especially not so after her recent experience with cider concentrate), but she was certain she had heard somewhere that bars were good places to find ponies willing to kiss anypony, and so she decided to try her luck. As she entered the bar, the cheer squad pegasi she had met earlier that day purposefully turned their backs on her, but she managed to negotiate her way into a seat at a table of sporting ponies playing cards for money.

Once she had lost all her money, Rainbow Dash turned her attention to the larger ponies in the back of the bar who were hoof-wrestling for money. Rainbow Dash remained with them until they grew bored of laughing at her determination to keep challenging everypony around her, despite never winning.

Rainbow Dash then spent the best part of an hour trying to convince the bartender to serve her a milkshake until he finally grew tired of her many lies (some of which she had thought had sounded quite clever) and he threw her out of the bar. Outside it was dark and there was nopony to be seen, the only sounds being the muffled chatter from the bar behind her, and so Rainbow Dash finally started for home.

"I should have bought a milkshake before I lost all my money," she told herself as she took a languid flight back home. "Or… I should have asked for a glass of water, because water is free… Oh, for the love of Pete!"

She halted mid-air, glancing back and forth. She was about halfway between the bar and her home. Home meant water without the hassle, but pride demanded she go back and force the bartender to serve her. As she was trying to decide which option to take, she noticed the faint dark blue tinge in the east of the sky, and another idea altogether occurred to her. She looked down, and a smile graced her lips.

"Perfect!" she said cheerfully, dropping straight down towards the ground.

Rainbow Dash landed by the barn doors on Sweet Apple Acres. The sun had not risen yet, but she could tell by the colour of the sky that it was less than an hour to daybreak, and that meant that she did not have to go home or to the bar for a drink.

"Big Macintosh!"

Big Macintosh twitched slightly, but did not look at all surprised to see the sky-blue pegasus with the multi-coloured mane and tail awaiting him as he exited the barn.

"Hey, what's up?" she greeted him.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, but otherwise did not move or make a sound in response.

"Yeah, me too," she replied, nodding enthusiastically. "So anyway, I was thirsty and I kinda wondered if I could have some apple juice."

Big Macintosh stepped aside and nodded his head towards the interior of the barn.

"You're the best, buddy!" Rainbow Dash said cheerfully, trotting past him into the barn.

She gladly helped herself to a bottle, drinking down the entire contents in one breath.

"I was pretty thirsty," she explained when she noticed Big Macintosh watching her curiously, his features looking strangely ghostly against the light of the lanterns hanging on the barn walls. "I had a pretty busy day today. I helped Pinkie Pie set up her party, I helped Twilight with her books, I hung out with Fluttershy, I broke the record for the three-dimensional obstacle course, I went to work, I played cards and I hoof-wrestled for like five hours without a break!"

Big Macintosh nodded, looking neither surprised nor moved by any of her words.

"And um… Hey, Mac – I can call you Mac, right?"

"Eeyup."

"And if I tell you something, you won't tell anypony else right? I mean, you don't talk too much, so I figure I can trust you. If I tell you a secret, would you tell it to anypony else?"

"Nope."

"Cool… So anyway I found out all my friends started dating before I did."

Rainbow Dash sat down on the floor, her legs splayed about her and her ears drooping at the sides of her head.

"I've never been last at anything before, and I hate the way it feels," she complained. "I hate losing, I hate being last, but more than that… I hate being alone. And I feel like I'm alone because none of my friends know how I feel."

Rainbow Dash sighed.

"I went out to try to meet somepony I could date," she continued. "But it's not as easy as I thought it would be. And now… Now I don't know. I'm confused. I don't know if I should be dating somepony who's never dated, like me, or if I should date somepony who's cool, like me."

Rainbow Dash sighed again.

"I don't know what to do," she said. "And then I saw it was almost sunrise, and I know you always wake up before the sun rises, so I knew you'd be here if I came here, and I knew you wouldn't tell anypony else if I asked you… Mac, I… I just wanted to ask you if… Um…"

Rainbow Dash looked down at the floor, pushing at the hay with her hooves as she tried to find the right words to say. When she finally lifted her head again she saw that Big Macintosh had not moved from his position by the doorway, but his eyes were suddenly open wide and staring at her expectantly.

"I just want to know what you think I should do, Big Macintosh," she said quietly. "You seem kinda cool and in control, and I figured you might know how to deal with things like dating and stuff. So, um, what do you think I should do?"

Big Macintosh's eyes relaxed into their usual, heavy-lidded expression and he quietly crossed the barn, stopping in front of Rainbow Dash.

"You're lookin' for love?" he asked her.

"I don't know," she replied. "I just… I just don't wanna feel this way any more. I don't wanna be alone. I want… I wanna have somepony special, and I just spent an entire day trying to fix that, and I got nowhere! What am I doing wrong?"

"Ya can't just find somepony special in an afternoon," Big Macintosh replied. "If you're really serious about this Rainbow Dash, you gotta take your head outta the clouds and put your hooves back on the ground."

"Take my head out of the clouds and put my hooves back on the ground?" Rainbow Dash repeated. "Out of the clouds, on the ground… Oh, I get what you're saying! You're saying I shouldn't just try to date other pegasi! I should try unicorns and earth ponies too! That gives me like three more choices than before! Mac, you're a genius!"

"Um, Rainbow Dash, that ain't what I meant–"

"Thanks, Mac!"

Big Macintosh drew breath to call Rainbow Dash back to correct her, but she took off like a rocket, and he ended up inhaling hay and coughing it back up. By the time he had recovered and hurried out the barn doors, the only trace of Rainbow Dash's presence was the faint twinkle of the end of a rainbow in the sky, the glow fading with the stars as the sun continued to rise.

* * *

><p>In the next chapter, Rainbow Dash investigates the unicorns and earth ponies of Ponyville in her search for somepony to kiss and date. Her search doesn't go so well, but then somepony very special trots into her life.<p> 


	4. The Wondercolt

**A/N:** I don't know what Soarin's cutie mark really looks like, and I couldn't find any reference to it, so I've just made up a plot-convenient one.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 – The Wondercolt<strong>

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity cried, her voice a mixture of alarm and pleasant surprise.

"Hey Rarity, what's up?" Rainbow Dash greeted her.

"I'm good thank you," Rarity carefully replied, turning on the spot to keep the pegasus in her line of sight. "And you?"

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash replied, continuing her way around the circumference of the interior of Carousel Boutique, eying over the mannequins displaying Rarity's latest creations. "So I noticed you're a unicorn."

"Why yes, I am a unicorn…" Rarity slowly agreed.

"That's pretty awesome, right?" Rainbow Dash asked, still eyeing Rarity's work rather than Rarity herself.

"Well, I suppose so. Having magic certainly has helped me in my career – without magic, finding gems would be such a tedious task."

"Magic, right, that's what unicorns do. No flying, but you have the magic."

"Rainbow Dash, are you feeling alright?"

"And a horn in the middle of your head."

"Yes… I do have a horn in the middle of my head… That is what makes me a unicorn…"

"But you can't ever fly, right?"

Rainbow Dash finally turned to face Rarity, who blinked at her curiously.

"Well, like, except for that one time when Twilight made you those fake rubber wings," the pegasus added.

"Gossamer, dear, they were gossamer," Rarity corrected her. "Not rubber."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"No."

"Oh… Oh well. But without those fake wings, you couldn't ever fly, right?"

"Right."

"So if I wanted to hang out in Cloudsdale, or go flying someplace, you couldn't come with me, right?"

Rarity removed her glasses and crossed the room to stand directly before Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow Dash, do you want me to go somewhere in particular with you?" she asked. "Because you just have to tell me where it is and I will do whatever it takes to go there with you! You know, unless going there involves getting muddy, or wet, or not having access to suitable bathing facilities for more than twelve hours."

"And fussy," Rainbow Dash muttered, eying Rarity slowly over. "You're fussy, and so is Twilight. So I guess that's a unicorn thing too..."

"Not necessarily," Rarity carefully replied. "I do like things in a particular way and I know that Twilight Sparkle does too, but that doesn't necessarily mean that all unicorns are "fussy". Look at my sister Sweetie Belle: she likes to do more rudimentary things that may involve getting dirty."

"But she's still a kid. All kids like to play in the dirt."

"I never did."

"She might grow out of it."

"She may."

"What about your dad? Does he like to get dirty?"

Rarity's face dropped.

"Whatever do you mean by that?" she asked in a low voice.

"I mean is your dad as fussy as you are?" Rainbow Dash replied, silently wondering why there were traces of outrage burning in the back of Rarity's carefully-set eyes. "Is being fussy and a clean-freak a unicorn thing or is it just a unicorn mare thing? Are unicorn stallions as fussy as you are?"

"Oh I see..."

Rarity visibly sighed and relaxed, the glow of emotion fading from her eyes.

"Being "fussy", as you so delicately put it, is neither a mare nor a stallion trait," she explained. "In fact, it's not even a unicorn trait: it's a personal trait. There are plenty of earth ponies and even pegasi who are just as "fussy" as I am. Some even more so."

"There are?" Rainbow Dash asked sceptically.

"Of course there are!" Rarity insisted.

"Name one."

"Excuse me?"

"Name one."

"I don't know what you mean–"

"Name me a pegasus who is as fussy as you are."

"Name a pegasus who is as fussy as I am?"

"Yeah."

"You want to name a pegasus who is as fussy as I am?"

"Yes."

"I didn't think you'd actually want me to name a specific pegasus who is as fussy as–"

"You can't do it, can you?"

"I was just trying to think of–"

"I've lived in Cloudsdale all my life, and I've never met a pegasus as fussy as you, Rarity! Fussy is a unicorn thing, and I can't do fussy!"

Rainbow Dash started stomping towards the door, only stopping when Rarity flung herself into her path, blocking the doorway.

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked flatly.

"I wanted to apologise to you," Rarity replied.

"Because you don't know any fussy pegasi?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.

"No, because I feel that Applejack and I took advantage of you two nights ago at the Cutie Mark Crusaders' camping spot," Rarity replied. "We should have explained the rules of that game to you."

"I don't care about losing some stupid game Applejack invented," Rainbow Dash said, trying to sound casual.

"Well, alright, but I also wanted to apologise about what happened after the game," Rarity said carefully. "I had no idea you had never kissed a boy before. And it's not important–"

"I gotta go," Rainbow Dash cut her off.

"We don't think any less of you just because you've never–"

"Could you move so I can open the door?"

"It doesn't matter to us so I hope you're not worried about us judging you. And if you ever do decide that you want to start dating, I'd be glad to help you meet some lovely–"

"Move, Rarity!"

Rarity reluctantly stepped aside and let Rainbow Dash barge past her. She started to offer her sympathy again, but Rainbow Dash spread her wings and took off, departing before she was forced to endure any more nauseating platitudes.

"Stupid Rarity," she grumbled as she flew. "I guess she probably thinks she's helping me, but I don't need her pity, I'm not a loser. I can totally win this thing, just like I win everything else I do. I don't need some stuffy unicorn telling me what to do and weirding me out with freaky magic tricks. And what's what that horn? Doesn't that thing get in the way when you're trying to butt heads with someone in a fight? I guess it does, and that must mean all unicorns are weak. That's why they need magic, because they can't fly and they can't fight. I don't need some dumb unicorn."

Rainbow Dash looked down at the streets of Ponyville below her, where she caught sight of Pinkie Pie delivering a singing telegram to someone.

"At least earth ponies are honest," she concluded aloud. "They can't fly, but it's not like they try to make up for it with lame tricks. And earth ponies can be strong and fast, like Applejack, and they have a sense of humour, like Pinkie Pie. Hm, maybe I should try to date an earth pony."

With that thought in mind, Rainbow Dash arced around and lowered her altitude, meeting Pinkie Pie as she started to leave the house she had been singing at.

"Oh, hey Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie cheerfully greeted her. "What's up? Oh wait, you're up! Because you're flying!"

"Right, good one," Rainbow Dash groaned. "Look, Pinkie, you know all the earth ponies in Ponyville, right?"

"Of course I do, silly!" Pinkie Pie replied.

"So which one is the most bad at girls?"

Pinkie Pie slowly mouthed out the words Rainbow Dash had just said.

"I mean which stallion is the biggest loser with the mares," Rainbow Dash tried, realising as she watched Pinkie Pie mouth her words how nonsensical they had been.

"You mean who is the most socially awkward pony?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Um, I guess so," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Well that would be Socially Awkward."

"...There's a pony called Socially Awkward?"

"Yeah."

"...Seriously?"

"Yeah. He has a dark blue coat, a light blue mane and tail, and his cutie mark is a black and white penguin."

"...Okay..."

"D'you wanna meet him?"

"Um, yeah. I think I kinda have to now, just because I need to see him to believe he's real."

"Okay doki loki! Ooh, but I gotta warn you: he is very..."

Pinkie Pie beckoned Rainbow Dash to come closer, and the pegasus carefully landed on the ground, leaning one ear towards Pinkie Pie's mouth.

"He's very socially awkward."

Rainbow Dash's face straightened.

"I can already tell I'm going to regret this..." she muttered.

After waiting for Pinkie Pie to change out of her singing telegram clothes and then following her to what was easily the ugliest house in all of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash was neither any more pleased about meeting Socially Awkward nor any less curious.

"Hello?" Pinkie Pie called out as she tapped a hoof against his door. "Socially Awkward! It's me, Pinkie Pie!"

There was a muffled crashing sound inside the house before the door opened and a dishevelled pony matching Pinkie Pie's earlier description appeared before them.

"Hey Pinkie Pie, nice muff," he greeted her.

"What?" Rainbow Dash echoed.

"Oh, um, no, wait," he stammered awkwardly. "I meant that furry thing I could put my hooves in."

"What?" Rainbow Dash growled.

"No, wait, I mean... Um..."

"It's okay, Sokey Awkey," Pinkie Pie assured him.

"Sokey Awkey?" Rainbow Dash muttered.

"It's short for Socially Awkward!" Pinkie Pie replied.

"Of course it is..."

"So Sokey Awkey, this is my friend Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh, hi," Socially Awkward said, nodding at Rainbow Dash.

"Hey," she replied. "Ugh, do you have pie on your face?"

"Um, maybe," he said, swiping a hoof at the left side of his face, despite the chunk of pie-crust that was obviously hanging from the right side of his mouth. "I like pie."

"Do you like Pinkie Pie?" Pinkie Pie asked, giggling as she spoke.

"I like your pie," he replied.

"What?" Rainbow Dash growled.

"Oh, but I bet you have a nice pie too, Miss Rainbow Wings," Socially Awkward quickly added.

"It's Rainbow Dash, silly!" Pinkie Pie corrected him.

"Oh, oops," he said. "I meant I'd like to taste your pie too Miss Rainbow Gash."

"What?" Rainbow Dash growled.

"I mean I'd like to eat your pie."

"What?"

"I mean – um – wow, it must be nice to be able to fly. How did you manage that?"

"How did I manage to fly?"

"Yeah."

"With my wings?"

"Wings, right, of course! I'd love to fly. Maybe I could ride you sometime."

"What?"

"I mean maybe I could just mount you and you could get me up."

"What?"

"I mean maybe I could just get my leg over you and we could get high."

"What?"

"Did I faux pas again?"

Rainbow Dash sighed.

"Okay Pinkie, who's the coolest, most awesome and most radical earth pony in Ponyville?" she tried.

"Pinkie Pie!" Socially Awkward answered.

Rainbow Dash glared at him threateningly. He looked nervous, but since that seemed to be his default expression, she could not tell if her glower was intimidating him or not.

"Who's the coolest, most awesome and most radical stallion earth pony in Ponyville?" she asked, her frustration barely contained behind tightly clenched teeth.

"Spike!" Socially Awkward said. "You know, Spike the dragon!"

"Spike the dragon is a dragon," Rainbow Dash growled.

"Why do you wanna meet all these new ponies anyway, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Rainbow Dash turned her glare to Pinkie Pie, only faltering when the true answer to the party pony's question occurred to her. She then turned her attention back to Socially Awkward, watching as he sneezed and then wiped his nose on his front leg, either not noticing or not caring about the mess he created.

"I can't do this," she said quietly.

"Sure ya can!" Pinkie Pie cheerfully replied. "I wrote a song about exactly this situation!"

"...What?"

"When you want to make new friends, make new friends, make new friends, and you don't know what to do, where to go, who to see, just think of a–"

"Pinkie Pie!"

Rainbow Dash waited until she was sure that Pinkie Pie would not start singing again before turning around and rocketing off. Instinct took her back to Cloudsdale, and when her hooves finally touched down, she found herself once more outside of the sports arena.

"So much for Big Macintosh," she muttered under her breath ""Y'all oughta just get outta them there clouds". Idiot. I'm a pegasus. I belong in the clouds. I don't need some horn-faced magician or some weird ground-dweller to tell me any different."

Rainbow Dash looked about herself, not really expecting to see anything out of the ordinary; but, during her survey of her surroundings, she spotted a pair of pegasi standing in the shade of a canopy by the outer wall of the arena. They looked quite inconspicuous at first: one was a sporty pegasi, her leggy, lithe figure clearly marking her as an aerial ballerina, and the other was a member of the cheer squad, the style of his mane and the obnoxious twinkle in his eyes marking him as the sort of peppy pony Rainbow Dash always secretly wanted to cause physical harm to. Rainbow Dash already knew that cheer squad pegasi and sporty pegasi dated, and she already knew that these two factions met at the sports arena; but despite being aware of the facts, the outcome of their meeting was no less surprising to her.

Rainbow Dash's first instinct was to turn away. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from saying the word "yuk". She tensed, she cringed and she leaned away, but she did not allow her eyes to look away. She had never actually watched two ponies kissing before. Usually if she even suspected it was about to happen she made a noise of disgust and flew away. But she would be a loser amongst her friends forever if she did not overcome her disgust and try it for herself.

After several unbearable seconds, Rainbow Dash turned her back on the couple. It was horrible. She hated it. She could not watch it. The thought of trying it made her feel sick. That meant she was a loser.

Rainbow Dash slowly flew up to the entrance of the stadium, making her way inside gradually, feeling cold and numb as she went. She realised then that the real reason she had never thought about kissing or dating before was because she did not want to do either. She actually thought she was physically and emotionally incapable of doing either. But her friends had all felt so differently about it. It was something everypony was supposed to enjoy, but Rainbow Dash just felt numb. What if all her friends got boyfriends at the same time? Or worse: what if they all got married? Would they still be her friends?

Inside the arena, Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath of air, relaxing slightly as the familiar scents invaded her senses. She maybe did not understand or like the idea of romance, but she still understood and loved the idea of competition.

"I might be the biggest loser at romance, but I'm the biggest winner here," she said aloud as she began floating down towards the scoreboard. "Nopony in all of Equestria can beat me on the three-dimensional obstacle circuit!"

"Somepony beat your score."

Rainbow Dash landed in front of the chirpy filly standing by the scoreboard.

"Oh yeah, that's right, somepony did beat my score," she said confidently. "Yesterday. Yesterday I beat my own personal best by 1.2 seconds!"

"Yeah, you did," the pony at the scoreboard replied. "And ten minutes ago somepony beat your new top score by 2.5 seconds."

Rainbow Dash froze, her eyes wide and staring at the half-grown filly in disbelief. Once she was sure that the pegasus was not playing a cruel trick on her, Rainbow Dash slowly turned her head towards the scoreboard, her jaw dropping as she saw her own name and best time next to the number two. She lifted her eyes slightly to see who had dared out-first her, her competitive streak flaring, adrenaline coursing through her body.

Rainbow Dash read the name once. She read it again. She read it a third time, studying each letter in turn to be sure she was seeing correctly.

"Soarin'?" she asked, turning her attention back to the cheer squad filly. "As in Soarin' of the Wonderbolts?"

"Yeah," the filly replied. "So I guess you shouldn't feel too bad. If you were actually better at that circuit than one of the Wonderbolts, you would be a Wonderbolt."

"Is that a challenge?"

The filly smiled.

"You're funny, Rainbow Dash," she said. "My name's Tally, I look after all the scoreboards around here."

"Is Soarin' still here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Sure!" Tally replied. "He's signing autographs over there."

Rainbow Dash turned in the direction Tally was pointing, only mildly surprised to see a mass of pegasi waving notepads, pens and cameras in the air. She could not actually see the Wonderbolt who had taken her record from her, but he was sure to be in the centre of the chaos, and so she flew over and began shoving her way through the throngs of eager fans.

What she found at the centre of the mass of bodies surprised her: a sweaty pale blue pegasus with a dark blue, wavy mane and tail was sitting on a cloud, patiently posing for photographs and signing autographs when asked. The swell of bodies forced Rainbow Dash forward before she had recovered from her initial surprise, and she shortly found herself landing on the small patch of cloud, facing one of her eleven idols.

"Hi there," he greeted her.

"Heh..." she said, smiling up at him goofily.

He smiled awkwardly before lifting one of her front legs towards his face. She was too surprised by his action to react, despite her instinct to pull her leg back; and she was shortly glad she that she had not reacted that way as he picked up a pen between his teeth and began signing his name on her leg. A quick glance around told her he had already done the same thing to countless other fans – apparently it was the latest trend, and since she already had his autograph in her autograph book, she decided not to argue.

"I'm Rainbow Dash," she said as he finished writing his name.

"That's cute," he said, releasing her leg. "Do you wanna picture?"

"I don't have a camera," she pointed out.

"That's okay, I have some six by eights right here."

Rainbow Dash could not stop herself from smirking as she caught sight of the stack of photographs at Soarin's side.

"You carry photos of yourself around with you?" she asked.

"I never know when I'm gonna need them," he replied with a shrug. "If you don't want one, I'm gonna have to ask you to move on, I gotta queue building here–"

"No, wait, I'm Rainbow Dash!"

"That's cute. Do you wanna picture?"

"No! Don't you remember me? We've met before, like, twice! And I was the record holder for the three-dimensional obstacle circuit here! Or at least, I was before you came along and... Out-firsted me..."

Soarin's laughed and patted Rainbow Dash on the shoulder in what she almost felt was a condescending gesture.

"You must be pretty good to get a time so close to mine," he said.

"Don't patronise me, you beat me by 2.5 seconds!" she replied.

"Keep practising kid, maybe one day you'll beat me on that course."

"Nopony's ever beaten me on that course before! And I'm not a kid! And I don't need to practise! Don't you remember me? I won the Young Flyer Competition this year!"

"...You did?"

"Yeah! I did a Sonic Rainboom!"

"Good for you, kid!"

"You were there, you saw me do it! And then I spent the entire day with you and the rest of the Wonderbolts!"

"Cool story."

"I saved your apple pie at the Grand Galloping Gala last year!"

Soarin' stopped halfway through signing a photograph of himself to eye Rainbow Dash over curiously.

"The Grand Galloping Gala, you say?" he muttered, finishing his task.

He flashed a grin for a photograph and then began signing another autograph.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said. "You bought an apple pie from my friend Applejack, and you dropped it, and I caught it just before it hit the floor."

"I remember my apple pie," Soarin' said thoughtfully.

"I looked a bit different then, because I was wearing clothes."

"Uh-huh."

"And so were you! You had your Wonderbolts uniform on! Come to think of it, this is the first time I've ever seen you without your uniform. Hey, I can see your cutie mark!"

Rainbow Dash leaned to one side, grinning gleefully as she caught sight of Soarin's cutie mark. She had seen it before in pictures, but never in real life, since the Wonderbolts almost never removed their uniforms in public. His cutie mark was a dark blue and black streaked tornado – and even though she had already known that, Rainbow Dash still made a small noise of delight when she saw it, as it reminded her of his signature move that he liked to show off during the Wonderbolts' shows.

"Hey, my face is up here, fangirl."

Rainbow Dash lifted her eyes to Soarin', finding him smirking at her in a way that made her face feel hot.

"I was looking at your cutie mark," she said quietly.

"That's what all the girls say," he replied.

She shook her head.

"I was just looking at your flank," she tried instead.

"We're getting closer to the truth now," he replied.

She shook her head more forcefully.

"I was checking it out!" she said.

"I know you were," he said, his smirk widening.

"No!" she whimpered. "Stupid Sokey Awkey and his contagiously sokey awkey behaviour!"

"Hey kid, since you got such a good time on the circuit before me, how about we go round together. Right now. That's something everypony wants to see, right?"

Rainbow Dash tried to answer Soarin', but her voice was drowned out by the cheers he had just elicited from the crowd around them.

"Me and you?" she said again once the cries had died down to the point where she could hear her own voice. "Go round the circuit? Together?"

"Sure, why not?" he responded. "Maybe you'll see what you're doing wrong if you watch closely how a master does it."

"Awesome!"

"One more and then I gotta go!"

Rainbow Dash waited impatiently for Soarin' to sign one last autograph and pose for one last photograph before gladly following him down to the starting line of the three-dimensional obstacle course.

"This is so awesome!" she said as they took their places and waited for the clock to reset. "Of all the Wonderbolts I could have dreamed about racing this circuit against, you're the one I would have most wanted!"

"You're not the first filly to tell me I'm the Wonderbolt she most wanted," Soarin' replied, winking at her.

"Who wouldn't want to race you on a circuit like this one?" Rainbow Dash responded, oblivious to the true meaning of his words.

"I hope you're ready," he warned her. "They don't call me "Soarin' the Wondercolt" for nothing."

"Wondercolt? I thought you guys were called "The Wonderbolts"? Have I been pronouncing it wrong all this time?"

Soarin' quirked an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash, but before either of them could question the other further, the clock reset and they both took off in a blur of colour.

* * *

><p>In the next chapter, Rainbow Dash is angry and disappointed about the outcome of her race against Soarin', especially when he seems to finally remember who she is, but doesn't exactly remember her in the most flattering way. However Rainbow Dash soon forgets her negative feelings when Soarin' makes her an offer she can't refuse.<p> 


	5. What is Love?

**Chapter 5 – What is Love?**

At first, Rainbow Dash was level with Soarin'. He tackled some of the obstacles in strange ways she could not really understand, but he did not seem to lose any time using his unusual methods. They seemed to be evenly matched until they reached the obstacle known as "the full-throttle wall", simply because racers were confronted suddenly by a wall of cloud that could only be passed by rising up steeply and flying over the top; at that point, Rainbow Dash saw something she never had before: the sight of another creature accelerating away from her at such a fantastic rate, she momentarily wondered if she had accidentally stopped moving altogether.

She tensed and pushed herself on, cursing herself out loud when she caught her back right hoof on the top of the cloud as she tried to smoothly loop over it and descend down the other side. She had occasionally tripped in a similar way before on the obstacle course, but not in a long time, and she knew that the mistake was a sign that she was losing her focus. Still determined to finish in a respectable time, Rainbow Dash continued the race, blocking out the sound of the spectators cheering and yelling and looking only at the obstacles ahead of her. She crossed the finish line in what would have been a respectable time for herself when she was still in flight school, but her time was not the biggest surprise she felt.

Soarin' finished almost a full three seconds behind her.

"Wow, you're good!" he said to her, talking uncomfortably loud considering how close they were. "Keep up your training kid, and maybe one day, you could be a Wonderbolt too!"

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash echoed.

"Smile for the cameras," he muttered, pushing her around to face a gaggle of photographers hovering over them.

Temporarily blinded by the flashbulbs and almost deafened by the crowd, Rainbow Dash began to wonder if she was dreaming. Her time was terrible and Soarin's was even worse – how could anyone watching believe that either of them had performed to the best of their abilities or that the race had been fair?

"You cheated," she said.

"What's that kid?" Soarin' yelled down to her, his voice barely audible over the noise around them.

"You cheated!" she yelled up at him.

He said nothing, but the look on his face was all the answer she needed.

"You threw the race to make me look good!" she snapped. "Why would you do that?"

"Hey, I remember you now!" he said, the genuine look of recognition on his face momentarily distracting Rainbow Dash from her anger. "You were at the Grand Galloping Gala!"

"Yeah, I saved your apple pie!" she replied.

"No, you were the one showing off by balancing the marble statue of Princess Celestia on your back! You dropped it and it knocked down all the pillars in the dance hall, and then all the rest of your friends completely trashed the whole room and ruined the gala!"

Rainbow Dash's face dropped.

"Smile for the cameras," Soarin' reminded her.

"I-I wasn't showing off," she said faintly. "I caught the statue. I was trying to save the day. It was Rarity who knocked it over, I was just trying to stop it breaking or landing on anypony! I was being heroic!"

"That's a great story. Smile for the cameras."

"It's not a story, it's the truth!"

Rainbow Dash was so confused and frustrated she did not bother to resist when Soarin' once more pushed her around to face the photographers. She winced against the blinding glare of the flashbulbs until her senses finally returned to her.

"Why did you let me win?" she asked, glaring up at Soarin' from the corner of her eye. "You were way ahead of me, it was obvious that you let me win, and now I look pathetic! I look worse this way than if I'd lost! Now I look like some slow, clumsy pony who needs to be given special treatment!"

"It isn't always about winning, Rainbow Bright," Soarin's replied.

"Rainbow Dash," Rainbow Dash corrected him.

"Sometimes letting somepony else win is the right thing to do," he continued. "One day you'll understand that."

"I'm not a kid, I don't need to be taught any stupid lessons, and deliberately losing is always a stupid thing to do," she flatly replied. "I want a rematch! And this time play fair!"

Soarin' nodded solemnly and leaned closer to her to ensure nopony else would hear his words.

"Look, if you really feel you can beat me in a genuine competition, let's do the circuit again," he offered.

"Alright!" Rainbow Dash said, moving to take herself to the start line.

Soarin' flew into her path, stopping her long before she reached her goal.

"Not here and now," he said. "If you really want to challenge me, we have to do it when there's nopony else around."

"Okay…"

"Is there ever a time when this arena is empty?"

"Sunday. They close it early on Sundays, like about four in the afternoon, because most pegasi are on weather duty. We usually have rain or snow on a Sunday night."

"Then meet me here at four on Sunday."

"…Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Awesome!"

"Now smile for the cameras again."

Rainbow Dash turned to the cameras again and gave a huge grin, barely noticing the odd looks she received.

"Maybe don't smile so intensely," Soarin' whispered to her.

She tried to take his advice, but she could not contain her emotions: she was actually going to race one of the Wonderbolts on her favourite circuit – and this time for real. She had many, many fantasies about hanging out with the Wonderbolts, performing shows with the Wonderbolts and joining the Wonderbolts, but she had never imagined getting to race one of the Wonderbolts on her favourite race track.

"Awesome!" she said again, her grin widening further, causing the photographers to stop taking pictures and start backing away.

Once the flashes of cameras had stopped, Soarin' nodded at Rainbow Dash and started to take his leave, picking his way through the determined fans who still dogged his exit. Rainbow Dash watched him go until he was out of sight before leaving the arena herself and heading straight for Ponyville. She simply had to tell her friends how awesome her day had been and about her upcoming secret race.

Rainbow Dash halted so abruptly that her mane flew over her face.

"I can't tell anyone about my secret race on Sunday," she muttered to herself. "Soarin' said nobody can know… But how can I let all my friends know how awesome I am if I can't tell them about my race? Hm… I guess I could still tell them about how I beat Soarin' in a head-to-head race today. He threw the race and let me win, but they don't know that…"

Her mind made up, Rainbow Dash continued into Ponyville and began searching for her friends. She looked for Pinkie Pie first, but found her nowhere near her usual haunts. She then checked the library, but neither Twilight Sparkle nor Spike was there. She went to Rarity's boutique but again found no trace of the friend she sought. She started towards Fluttershy's house, wondering along the way if the others were all at Sweet Apple Acres for a special apple-based event that she had, in her excitement, forgotten about: but as Fluttershy's tree-house came into her sights, Rainbow Dash could see Fluttershy landing at the back of the house, and her mind once more returned to the excitement of her encounter with Soarin'.

Rainbow Dash landed at the front of Fluttershy's house and paused for a moment to silently practise the face and stance she would employ while she told her demure friend about the day she had just had. Just as she was perfecting the angle of her eyebrows Rainbow Dash heard something that made her freeze, mid-pose.

"That's so exciting, Rarity!" Twilight Sparkle's voice said, her words barely audible to Rainbow Dash's ears. "You must have made a really good impression on him."

"I was surprised," Rarity replied. "At first I thought there had been some sort of mistake. I'm glad it's not a mistake of course."

"Are you excited?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh course she is!" Applejack said.

"We should have a party to celebrate!" Pinkie Pie suggested.

Their voices seemed to be emanating from the back of the house – they were out of sight from where Rainbow Dash was standing, but she did not really care if she could see them or if they could see her: she was far more concerned about why all of her friends were having a meeting without her. Again.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, ladies," Rarity said. "It is only lunch. I don't even know if it's a date, per se."

"I'm sure it will be lovely," Fluttershy said.

"And I'm sure it's a date," Twilight Sparkle said. "He signed his letter with a kiss."

"And he sent that invite mighty quick," Applejack said. "He seems keen. I reckon it's a date, Rarity."

"If it's just a lunch between friends, we could have a "Confusing Invites" after-party!" Pinkie Pie said. "And if it is a date, we can have a "Rarity has a new boyfriend" after-party!"

"I had a party once. Nopony came."

There was a long silence following the male voice that had spoken.

"Who in the hay are you?" Applejack asked.

"This is Socially Awkward," Pinkie Pie replied. "He's a socially awkward pony."

"I see..." Applejack said.

"Well anyway, Rarity, if it is a date, you have to introduce him to us," Twilight Sparkle said.

"We could have a party to welcome him to Ponyville!" Pinkie Pie said.

"He doesn't live in Ponyville and he won't be moving here," Rarity said.

"Maybe he'll decide to stay after his visit," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash sat down on the spot. Her initial anger that her friends were meeting without her was rapidly giving way to confusion. Her friends sounded as excited as she felt. But they were excited about dating. Dating just seemed alien and unnatural to Rainbow Dash. The only things she ever felt that excited about were racing and the Wonderbolts. Were dates meant to be as exciting as watching the Wonderbolts annual showcase? Rainbow Dash could not imagine ever feeling that excited about anything remotely related to romance.

Most things related to romance made her want to retch.

Rainbow Dash wanted to tell her friends about her race against Soarin', but maybe if she could not understand their excitement about dating, they would not understand her excitement about spending time with a Wonderbolt. She then began to feel slightly relieved that her friends had met without her: being around them when they were all discussing something she did not understand or really even care about would have been awkward and frustrating.

As her friends continued to cheerfully chatter about Rarity's apparent new love-interest, Rainbow Dash quietly took to the skies again, and started to leave, deciding she might as well go for an afternoon nap until it was time to start work for the day.

Later that day, after her extended nap and after she had finished work, Rainbow Dash decided to look for her friends and tell them individually about her race against Soarin'. She hoped that if she talked to them on their own, they might not mention Rarity's romance or Rainbow Dash's lack thereof. She went looking for Fluttershy first, but decided not to disturb her fellow pegasus when she saw that she was tending to some newly born bunnies. Rainbow Dash then went to the library in search of Twilight Sparkle, but saw through a window that Rarity and Spike were also there, and so she turned and left before she was noticed. She tried to track down Pinkie Pie, eventually catching a glimpse of curly pink mane leading a glum blue earth pony back towards a creepy looking house. Not wishing to spend any more time around Socially Awkward, Rainbow Dash took off for Sweet Apple Acres, deciding that, of all her friends, Applejack would probably be the most interested in hearing about an athletic competition.

Rainbow Dash circled the farm grounds several times, but found no trace of Applejack. When her patience waned she finally landed beside Big Macintosh, who was removing tree-guards from the sapling apple trees and gathering them in a cart.

"Hey Mac, what's up?" Rainbow Dash greeted him.

He stopped what he was doing long enough to nod at her in greeting.

"Where's Applejack?" she asked.

"She's gone to the station to pick up cousin Apple Tart," he replied.

"…You actually have a cousin called Apple Tart?" she asked.

"Eeyup."

"Guess your aunt and uncle must have a strange sense of humour…"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and followed Big Macintosh as he continued his work.

"I'll just wait here for her," she said as she walked.

"Okay," Big Macintosh agreed.

"So you've been planting new trees, huh?"

"Eeyup."

"And now they don't need those special guards any more?"

"Nope."

"That's um… Really boring."

Big Macintosh made a noise, but as his back was turned to her, Rainbow Dash could not be sure if he had been giving a small chuckle or making a snort of disapproval.

"Have you been out here since sunrise?" she asked, watching the back of his head expectantly.

"Eeyup," he replied, removing the last of the tree-guards.

"Wow, that's a pretty long time to spend doing this sort of stuff over and over," she said, watching him toss the tree-guard into the cart.

He did not answer her, instead hooking the cart onto his yoke and starting back towards the barn. Rainbow Dash trotted along at his side, deciding to stay with him until Applejack showed up.

"Why have you been planting so many new trees anyway?" she asked.

"Just replacin' the ones we lost when the Flim Flam brothers used their fancy contraption to suck our apple trees clean outta the ground," Big Macintosh replied.

"Oh yeah, I guess they did destroy a whole bunch of trees, huh?" she responded.

"Eeyup."

"Hey, I met one of the Wonderbolts today."

"One of the Wonderbolts?"

"Yeah one of the Wonderbolts. It was totally awesome! He was in Cloudsdale."

"He was in Cloudsdale?"

"Yeah, he was in Cloudsdale. We raced together. It was so awesome! And he's gonna race me again on Sunday!"

"Sunday?"

"Yeah! When the arena is closed, we're gonna sneak in and have a race when there's nopony else around – no holds barred!"

"When there's nopony else around?"

"Yeah – wait, why do you keep repeating everything I say?"

Rainbow Dash turned her head towards Big Macintosh as they walked, watching him expectantly. He kept his head forwards and remained quite expressionless, making it difficult for her to figure out if he was mocking her or not – which she suspected he might be.

"We're racing again on Sunday," she repeated slowly. "After the arena closes, when there's nopony else around, no holds barred, hardcore racing."

"Who won the race today?" he asked.

"Me, of course!" she replied.

Rainbow Dash faltered slightly as Big Macintosh's green eye nearest her flicked to briefly look at her. Other than the short sideward glance, he did not move his head, change his expression or break stride, but the look was enough to make her feel guilty about having told what was, really, a lie.

"Well, I crossed the finish line ahead of him," she added. "But I didn't really win the race."

Big Macintosh flashed Rainbow Dash another expressionless look and again she felt strangely guilty and as though she needed to explain herself.

"He cheated!" she blurted out. "He was ahead of me and I made a mistake and I finished in a really bad time and he had already beaten my best time for the course before I got there but he let me win anyway."

"Why do ya reckon he did that?" Big Macintosh asked.

"I don't know!" Rainbow Dash wailed. "It's so stupid! He said "sometimes letting somepony else win is the right thing to do" – which is crazy! I would never let somepony else beat me! What's the point in that? It made me look bad, like I needed him to let me win! Nopony's ever "let" me win before! I hate this feeling more than the feeling I get when I lose! I'm gonna train really hard between now and Sunday, and I'm gonna show him that he doesn't need to "let" me win!"

"Do ya think ya can win?"

"Of course I can! I just got distracted today. Sunday, when there's nopony else around, I'm gonna win and I'm gonna show him why I'm Wonderbolt material!"

"Good luck."

"I don't need luck I've got talent and skill!"

Big Macintosh smiled before stopping by the barn doors and unhooking the cart from his yoke.

"I'm already the best flyer in Cloudsdale, the winner of the Best Young Flyer Competition and the only pony to perform a Sonic Rainboom in the last three hundred years," Rainbow Dash added.

"Three hundred years?" Big Macintosh echoed, frowning slightly.

"Well, maybe, I dunno," she said. "Nopony else has done one recently but me, and everypony else thought it was just an old mare's tale, but I made it a reality!"

"It sure was an awesome sight."

"Yeah, it was! And Soarin' – the Wonderbolt I raced – doesn't even remember me doing it!"

"That's crazy."

"I know, right? Everypony remembers me making the legend come to life! Even you remember it, right?"

"Eeyup."

"Wait... How do you remember it? You weren't there."

Rainbow Dash watched Big Macintosh expectantly, only barely noticing that his usually heavy-lidded eyes were suddenly wide open.

"That flash o' colours and light was pretty spectacular," he eventually answered. "I saw it from the farm."

"You did?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Eeyup," he replied.

"Awesome!"

Big Macintosh's eyelids lowered again into his usual languid expression, but Rainbow Dash was too excited to notice the change in his demeanour.

"I need to practise before Sunday," she said. "I need to be as fast and agile as possible. I don't wanna just win, I wanna smash the record time for the obstacle circuit."

"Obstacle circuit?" Big Macintosh echoed, his eyes widening again.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash replied. "Soarin's the only pegasus who's ever beaten me on that course."

"Flyin' round obstacles at neck-breakin' speed?" he asked.

"Yeah!"

"That sounds a mite dangerous."

"It is! That's what makes it so awesome!"

"Maybe ya oughta do your practisin' and trainin' over the south field yonder."

Rainbow Dash looked over in the direction Big Macintosh was pointing to with one hoof. He appeared to be indicating a field of long grass. She frowned and turned back to face him.

"It's a hay field," he explained.

"Why would I train over a hay field?" she asked.

"It's safer," he replied. "Y'know, in case you have an accident and fall."

"I don't have accidents and fall!"

Big Macintosh opened the barn doors and purposefully looked around the contents of the barn within. Rainbow Dash edged closer and copied his actions, slowly cringing at what she saw: there were broken tree branches, shattered apple carts, warped fence sections and a pile of cloth and wood that may have once been a scarecrow.

"Did I really break all that stuff?" she asked.

"Eeyup," he replied. "It's best ya stick to flyin' over the hay field."

"Because that way I can't break anything if I crash-land?"

"Nope, because the hay field makes for a softer landin'."

"I'm not planning on crash-landing, y'know."

"I know. But it's better to be safe than sorry."

"And I guess Granny Smith has had it with me breaking stuff."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and turned away from the barn.

"Gees, the old lady goes crazy when I break something," she groaned. "If I do practise over your hay field, she'll probably come down to the field and start waving a pitchfork or a broom at me again."

Big Macintosh chuckled.

"Sometimes it's like she doesn't want me around," Rainbow Dash continued. "But I guess she's just mad cause I broke all that stuff. And I don't think she appreciates my need for speed!"

She leapt up into the air and looped her way through a few minor aerial moves. When she clipped the barn guttering with the tip of one wing and lost her balance she quickly landed again, straightening herself out with a nervous grin as she found that Big Macintosh was watching her intently.

"I guess maybe I should practise over the hay field," she conceded. "But d'you think you could keep Granny Smith outta my way?"

"Eeyup," he replied.

"And don't tell anypony about this," she added. "I just wanna work on getting faster, I don't need those three little squirts watching me. You won't tell them I'm here, will you?"

"Nope."

"Cool. Well, I gotta go. I guess I'll see ya around, Mac."

"Wait."

Rainbow Dash halted, mid-air, hovering and looking back over her shoulder at Big Macintosh. She was already above the height of the barn roof, but the look of urgency on his face stopped her going any further.

"It's an obstacle course your racin' round?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "I gotta dodge around, over and under the clouds."

"Hm... That sounds a mite like a rodeo."

Rainbow Dash turned around and slowly drifted down until she was hovering by Big Macintosh's head.

"It's nothing like a rodeo!" she argued. "You're starting to sound like Applejack! Flying and farm games are totally different things!"

"Overcomin' an obstacle course ain't just about being fast, Rainbow Dash," he replied.

"Speed is the key to winning any race!"

"That ain't true. If you only work on your speed, you ain't gonna win that race."

"And what the hay would you know about racing? You don't know the first thing about speed! You do everything slowly – you even talk slowly!"

"Ya need to work on agility, strength, stamina and strategy if you wanna win that race."

"Again, you don't know anything about racing!"

"I could help ya train."

"I don't need help from an earth pony to win a flying race!"

"You're about the fastest flyer I ever did see. It ain't lack o' speed that's holdin' ya back, it's lack o' skill."

"Lack of skill? You don't know what you're talking about!"

"I ain't bein' unkind, I'm tryin' to help ya–"

"Hey earth pony, why don't you stick to your slow and boring farm work and leave the exciting speed flying to me, the pegasus!"

Rainbow Dash shot off in a blur of colour, leaving Big Macintosh behind. He waited until all traces of her rainbow trail had vanished in the sky before letting out a sigh of defeat.

"That was close."

Big Macintosh flinched as he suddenly noticed the curly-maned pink pony at his side.

"My Pinkie Senses told me rule number five of the Brony Code might be violated here," she explained as their eyes met.

"Nope," he assured her.

"Are ya sure?" she asked, leaning closer to him.

"Eeyup," he flatly replied.

He turned from her and started to walk away. He was sure that she would follow him, and when she did not appear at his side again after several seconds he looked back over his shoulder. She had gone, with no trace that she had ever been there; there were not even any hoof-prints in the dirt heading to or from the farm gates to indicate her arrival or departure.

* * *

><p>In the next chapter Rainbow Dash finally has her rematch against Soarin' with unexpected results. Soarin' challenges Rainbow Dash to race him around the obstacle course at the Wonderbolts headquarters and Rainbow Dash finds a new use for Scootaloo.<p> 


	6. The Challenge

**A/N:** My chapters are getting gradually longer – I don't know why!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 – The Challenge<strong>

Rainbow Dash darted behind a building, peering around the cloud wall to check her surroundings. She was almost at the arena, and so far, she had made it there unseen. She was wearing her best stealth clothing – her black jumpsuit with the hood up over her head – so that if she was seen sneaking into the arena, she would at least be unrecognisable. She glanced up at the clock tower, which told her she had four minutes before the arena officially closed. She decided to get as close as she could and then wait until she was sure there were no ponies left inside (except possibly the janitors) and then sneak in. Her plan was flawless. She leapt out from the behind the building, intent on darting across the street, but she collided with a startled mass of yellow and pink that screamed on impact.

"Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash blurted out as she untangled herself from the terrified Pegasus.

"Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!" Fluttershy wailed, shaking in her panic.

"What are you doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You never come to Cloudsdale!"

"Here, take this, it's all I have!"

"Huh?"

Rainbow Dash looked down at her chest as Fluttershy pushed a purse against her with both front hooves. She started to ask her demure friend why she was handing over her purse, but stopped abruptly when she heard a male voice shout out something that sounded completely absurd.

"Hey look! That ninja is robbing Fluttershy! Get him!"

"Ninja?" Rainbow Dash muttered.

She looked down at herself long enough to realise that, with her current outfit on she probably did look like a ninja, before she was flattened against the cloudy road by two much larger pegasi.

"Here ya go, Fluttershy."

"Oh thank you so much."

Rainbow Dash looked up to see Dumb-Bell – one of her least favourite residents of Cloudsdale – handing Fluttershy back her purse.

"You idiots!" Rainbow Dash cried, clawing her way out from under Dumb-Bell's two lackeys, Hoops and Score. "It's me, Rainbow Dash!"

She roughly pushed back her hood to uncover her head, scowling at her attackers. A wave of recognition washed over them and they stepped back, allowing Rainbow Dash to stand once more.

"Rainbow Dash is a mugger?" Hoops asked Score.

"Rainbow Dash is a girl?" Score asked Hoops.

Rainbow Dash growled out a sigh of annoyance.

"Oh my, Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy gasped. "I'm so sorry I accused you of being a criminal! I didn't recognise you in those clothes."

"It's fine," Rainbow Dash grumbled.

"And you startled me," Fluttershy added.

"Why are you dressed like that anyway, Rainbow Crash?" Dumb-Bell asked.

"It's not important," Rainbow Dash snapped. "I was just trying to get to the arena in peace!"

She started to trot on, no longer bothering with her pre-planned secret route but rather opting for the shortest path towards the Cloudsdale sports arena.

"The arena is closed," Hoops pointed out.

"Are you a janitor there?" Dumb-Bell asked. "Is that a janitor's overalls you're wearing?"

"Oh goodness!" Fluttershy gasped. "Did you get fired from the weather team? Were you forced to take a job as a janitor at the Cloudsdale sporting arena?"

"Yeah, that would make sense!" Dumb-Bell laughed. "She crashed too many times so they had to give her a job where she was contained in one place and couldn't break anything or mess anything up!"

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth and made a mental note to find Dumb-Bell, Hoops and Score later and make them pay for their insults. Revenge was a dish best served cold, and although Rainbow Dash never usually waited to act upon any insults to her honour, in this case she would have to: the arena was closed and she did not want to be late for her date with Soarin'.

Rainbow Dash slowed slightly, her frown melting as her eyebrows began to rise upwards in response to the last thought she had just processed: it was not exactly a date she was going to, it was just a meeting. It was a rematch. It was the furthest thing possible from a date. It was something that made much more sense than a date. Dates were stupid and pointless and frilly and over-accessorised, but a rematch was about honour and skill and bravery and awesomeness.

Rainbow Dash flew up high and entered the arena via the open top, lowering herself towards the start line of the three race courses, her head flicking from side to side as she descended. Only when her hooves touched the cloud by the start line did she finally spot another pony.

"Hello again, Rainbow Dash!"

"You?"

"Somepony's gotta keep score, right?"

Rainbow Dash growled and bared her teeth at the chirpy, half-grown filly by the scoreboard.

"Listen, Dally," she said. "I don't need you here to–"

"My name's Tally," the gangly Pegasus interrupted.

"To keep score," Rainbow Dash continued.

The two pegasi stared at each other, one in anger the other in curiosity, until Rainbow Dash suddenly realised the ludicrousness of the situation.

"What are you even doing here?" she demanded as suddenly as the thought occurred to her. "This place is closed! Shouldn't you be in bed by now? Don't you have school tomorrow? And how did you know I was gonna be here anyway?"

"I asked her to stay here and keep score for us."

Rainbow Dash spun around to see Soarin' approaching her wearing his Wonderbolts uniform and his characteristic lazy grin. Seeing him in his uniform made him seem more official than he had the week before, and she had to fight the urge to skip on the spot and tell him how amazing she thought he was.

"You look like you haven't slept much since I last saw you, Rainbow Dash," he said. "What's been keeping you awake at nights? Or should I say who's been keeping you awake at nights?"

"You!" Rainbow Dash answered immediately, too overcome with excitement to decipher the true meaning of Soarin's question or to notice his tone and the mischievous glint in his eyes. "I've been thinking about today all week, and I've been thinking about doing this with you, and I've been practising on my own so that I'd be ready to come first!"

"Every filly I've ever done it with has always come first," Soarin' replied, his grin widening slightly.

"Well, yeah, most of the girls on your team are faster than you, but you're totally the most agile of all the Wonderbolts!" Rainbow Dash answered obliviously. "You're the most creative stallion."

"I'm very creative."

"I know! I've always wanted to test myself against you! I know I'm fast – I'm probably even faster than Fleetfoot – but I've never had a chance to prove how agile and flexible I can be."

"I like a filly who's agile and flexible."

"Then it's too bad you've gotta race against me and you can't concentrate on watching me in all my awesomeness!"

"I like watching a filly going solo just as much as I like–"

"The clock's reset!" Tally yelled over, her words cutting off Soarin's speech. "I'm ready to go when you are!"

"Let's do this!" Rainbow Dash said, moving to the start line.

"I'm not going easy on you this time, kid," Soarin' warned her as he took his place at her side.

"And I'm not goin' easy on you!" Rainbow Dash confidently shot back.

Soarin' pulled his goggles over his eyes, securing them in place before lowering himself into the standard launching stance all pegasi took at the start of a race. Rainbow Dash copied his action and watched as Tally counted them in to start. When the filly gave the signal to go Rainbow Dash took off at top speed, smiling to herself as she gradually increased the distance between herself and Soarin' who, as she had already guessed, was not as fast as she was. She waved her way around the first few obstacles and still the distance between them grew. Occasionally she caught sight of his shadow as he passed around the obstacles behind her, and to her surprise, he was still using the same unusual methods for tackling each obstacle. The last time they had raced she had dismissed his tactics as mere crowd-pleasing antics for the benefit of the sport fan pegasi in attendance that day; but clearly there was a more substantial reason for his odd methods as he was still using them, despite the fact that there was only one pony watching – Tally – and even she would not be able to really see what he was doing from her place by the clock and scoreboard.

Rainbow Dash reached the high climb in the course and pushed upwards, wincing against the air and straining against the pull of gravity defying her from going any higher. She saw Soarin's shadow appear at the bottom of the cloud far below her, and in the time it took her to blink he was level with her. She stole a glance at him as he overtook her, inwardly cursing herself. She was faster than him, but if he got substantially ahead of her, catching up to and passing him before reaching the finish line would be almost impossible. She looked up to watch him clear the top of the cloud, but the sun was coming into her sight, and against its glare Soarin' and the top of the cloud were blurry shadows. She blinked away the after-image of a pony-shaped silhouette and pressed on, her rear right hoof barely scraping the apex of the cloud wall as she looped over the top of it. She thundered down towards the next obstacle – the rules of the course dictated that the star-shaped obstacle could not be passed over, only around or under, making the descent from the cloud wall almost as challenging as the ascent – and as she descended she dared to look ahead at the remainder of the track. Again Soarin' had disappeared, the same way he had at that exact point the last time she had raced him; she began to suspect him of cheating again, and anger drove her onwards.

She whipped around the sharp point of the star-shaped cloud, feeling the chill of the ice particles within the cloud against her hip in a way that almost threatened to leave her with a minor ice-burn. She continued pushing herself as close as possible to the remaining obstacles, and eventually crossed the finish line only 0.2 seconds behind her new best time she had set before Soarin' arrived to knock her score down to second place.

"Not bad."

Rainbow Dash yelped involuntarily as she noticed Soarin' lounging on a cloud by the finish line.

"But not really Wonderbolt material."

He waved a hoof casually over one shoulder, and she looked up to see Tally hovering by the clock, which was displaying the times of both racers.

"How is that even possible?" Rainbow Dash wailed as she stared up at Soarin's time.

"Don't feel too bad, kid," Soarin' said.

"You beat me by 20.1 seconds!" she pointed out.

"I'm a professional, I do this all the time," he casually replied. "We should only be worried if you start beating me."

"But my entire time for this track was only 100.5 seconds! That makes you like…"

"Twenty percent faster than you?"

Rainbow Dash whimpered and sat down hard, causing a small updraft of cloud around her that mercifully temporarily blurred the image of the scoreboard.

"I'm sure you understand now that it wouldn't have been sporting of me to race you to the best of my ability in front of all your friends," Soarin' explained.

"It took me three years to shave 8 seconds off my best time…" Rainbow Dash said faintly. "I'll never manage to get 21 seconds faster!"

"You're fast," he said. "But being a Wonderbolt isn't just about speed."

"But I'm the most agile, I've got the most style, and I can do the most original aerial stunts out of all the pegasi in Cloudsdale!" she moaned.

"Cloudsdale is a small place," he frankly replied. "You've got a good training facility here, but I've seen better."

"Better? Wait… Better training facilities than Cloudsdale or better flyers than me?"

"Don't be too hard on yourself, kid. Keep training, keep dreaming, and who knows? Maybe one day you'll make it to the big league."

"But… I…"

Soarin' flew over to Tally and they shared a short, hushed conversation before he waved a hoof at Rainbow Dash and started to fly upwards to take his leave.

"I wanna rematch!"

Soarin' stopped, looking back over his shoulder at Rainbow Dash sceptically.

"Gimme another chance, I know I can do better!" she insisted.

He paused, looking pensive as though considering her offer.

"No," he eventually answered.

"Why not?" Rainbow Dash immediately demanded.

"Not here," he replied. "Come to the Wonderbolts' headquarters – you know where that is, right?"

"The skies over Canterlot, yeah!" she eagerly answered.

"Okay, come there next Sunday. Show me what you can do on a course you don't know quite so well."

"What time should I be there?"

"Let's say four o'clock again. I'll be waiting for you at the gates – don't be late."

"Okay!"

Rainbow Dash watched with a goofy smile of giddy delirium as Soarin' took his leave, only changing her expression and moving her eyes when she became aware of a presence at her side.

"What do you want?" she asked as her eyes landed on Tally.

"I guess this means you'll be here every day training!" Tally replied. "I could be your personal timer! You didn't do so good today. I mean, you have done better before, so maybe you need to work a little harder. Ooh, I could be your coach!"

"Keep dreamin', kid!"

Rainbow Dash shot off out the open top of the arena, gladly leaving the annoying little pegasus far behind her. As annoying as Tally was though, she did make a good point: the only way Rainbow Dash would know that she was improving her times was if she had somepony keeping score for her. Tally was just one such pony in Cloudsdale, but most of the others who worked the timers and scoreboards were just as aggravating as she was. Rainbow Dash considered visiting the sports bar to hire another timekeeper, but her memories of her last visit there kept her away – she was not sure if her ejection from the premises had been just for that night or if she had been permanently barred from re-entry. She flew around in a circle as she contemplated hiring Fluttershy to help her, but gave up on the idea when she realised that the task would be too time-consuming for a pony with daily duties like Fluttershy. What Rainbow Dash really needed was a pony with nothing better to do than become her (unpaid) personal assistant. The job required somepony who was as enthusiastic as Tally but devoted only to Rainbow Dash, a pony who would only ever be positive, a pony who would be glad to be treated like a slave for a week.

Rainbow Dash stopped by the outskirts of Cloudsdale, peering down at the view below. Ponyville lay to one side of her and Sweet Apple Acres stretched out on the other; and, at the top of a low hill near the edge of the farm was a distinct wooden treehouse.

Rainbow Dash dived down out of Cloudsdale with a grin. Who better to become her slave than her number one fan?

As expected, Rainbow Dash found all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders inside their club-house. They were covered in paint and the floor around them was littered with gaudily coloured depictions of Ponyville and its many residents. Apparently they were trying to earn their cutie marks for being artists – but if their work so far was any indication all three were a long way from achieving their goal.

"Hey squirts, what's up?" Rainbow Dash greeted them as she confidently entered the hut.

"Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo cried, her eyes growing wide and a near-maniacal grin filling her face.

"What're you kids up to?" Rainbow Dash asked, walking around the room and eying over their paintings.

"We're tryin' to get our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom answered.

"In art?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No, in interior design!" Sweetie Belle replied.

The little unicorn stood up on her hind legs and waved her front legs about the room. Rainbow Dash looked about herself, her face twisting as she realised that most of the painted pages had been taped onto the interior walls of the clubhouse.

"Well clearly you're not getting anywhere with that dumb idea," she concluded, failing to register the disappointed looks her words elicited in Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle (Scootaloo was too busy staring and grinning at Rainbow Dash to respond). "So I've got a better idea: why don't you try getting cutie marks in something you might actually be able to do."

"Like what?" Apple Bloom asked, slapping aside a painting of Winona hearding sheep as it fell from the wall and almost landed on her head.

"Well, you could go buck apples," Rainbow Dash suggested, pointing a hoof at Apple Bloom.

"But I already tried that and I–" Apple Bloom began.

"And you," Rainbow Dash interrupted, moving her hoof to point at Sweetie Belle. "Could go make fashion or obsessively organise and reorganise books – remind me again whose sister you are? Rarity or Twilight?"

Sweetie Belle blinked and tilted her head to one side.

"Just go copy your sister," Rainbow Dash insisted. "Whoever she is... And you," she moved her hoof to point at Scootaloo, who gasped in anticipation, her already enormous eyes and grin growing larger. "Get your stopwatch and come with me."

Scootaloo's face dropped, turning from ecstatic joy to utter horror in the blink of an eye.

"I don't have a stopwatch," she said faintly.

"Can you shout real loud?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah!" Scootaloo shouted, causing her two friends to cower away at either side of her.

"Who's the most awesome flyer in all of Equestria?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash took a step back.

"Okay kid, you can stop yelling now," she muttered. "Come with me, I'll get a stopwatch for you."

"Okay!" Scootaloo agreed, trotting over to Rainbow Dash's side.

"Where are you going?" Sweetie Belle called after them.

"You can fly, right?" Rainbow Dash asked Scootaloo as they exited the clubhouse.

"Not really," Scootaloo replied, her smile fading again.

"Seriously? What are they teaching you in flight school thesedays?"

Rainbow Dash flew out of the clubhouse and Scootaloo ran down the ramp, stopping by her scooter.

"Where are y'all goin'?" Apple Bloom called out to them.

"What are you doing?" Rainbow Dash asked Scootaloo.

"Putting on my helmet?" Scootaloo slowly replied.

"We're not taking that thing with us, you won't need it," Rainbow Dash told her.

Scootaloo hung her helmet on the handlebars of her scooter, eying it over thoughtfully.

"Come on squirt, I'm sure you can last five minutes without the darn thing," Rainbow Dash insisted.

"O-okay..." Scootaloo said, backing slowly away from her scooter.

"Come on!"

Rainbow Dash swooped down and grabbed Scootaloo's tail in her mouth. The other two Cutie Mark Crusaders called out to them but Rainbow Dash ignored their cries, flinging Scootaloo over her shoulder as she took off again. The little Pegasus quickly found her balance on Rainbow Dash's back and together they left Sweet Apple Acres and entered Ponyville. They flew into an open window of the library, circled the room, the draft of Rainbow Dash's flapping wings creating small maelstroms of scrolls and quills to form below them.

"Can we borrow this?" Rainbow Dash asked Spike as he ran about the room trying to grab all the displaced items.

"Huh?" he asked, turning in time to see her snatch up his stopwatch in her mouth.

"Thanks!" she called as she flew out the window again.

"Are you gonna help me get my cutie mark?" Scootaloo asked as they flew back towards Sweet Apple Acres.

"No, you're gonna help me get more awesome," Rainbow Dash replied, her words slightly muffled by the stopwatch lodged between her jaws.

* * *

><p>In the next chapter Rainbow Dash continues her training with Scootaloo cheering her on. However, the day before her meeting with Soarin' something quite embarrassing happens to Rainbow Dash and she is forced to enlist the help of Twilight Sparkle and Rarity to help solve her dilemma.<p> 


	7. Rainbow Dash's Style

**Chapter 7 – Rainbow Dash's Style**

Rainbow Dash sat slouched forwards over a mug of water. She was exhausted to the point that her wings had unfurled and were lying limply at her sides in that way they occasionally did when she pushed herself too far. She had been training hard for days, and it was already Friday night – Scootaloo's school schedule had restricted the amount of day-time timed practises she could perform – and the continued pushing herself to the limit day after day had accumulated, leaving her in a condition where she would be unable to make the journey up to her house in Cloudsdale.

"That was so awesome! You were super-fantastical-amazing-spectacular!"

Rainbow Dash was still too busy trying to will the contents of her mug of water into her mouth to bother even acknowledging the somehow still hyper little pony at her side.

"You went up so high and then you turned like bam! And came hurtling down like whoosh! And you dived so close to the ground and then you turned like pow!"

Scootaloo skipped about Rainbow Dash, jumping and punching a hoof into the air with each sound effect she made. Rainbow Dash continued staring at her mug, noticing that her sweat was dripping into the water within and silently wondering if it would taste bad if she still drank it.

"And then you went low over the field and all the grass parted like nurr!"

Rainbow Dash finally managed to muster the energy to lift her mug, holding it in both front hooves just to be sure she would not drop it and inadvertently spill the contents. She lifted the mug to her lips and started to drink, but stopped after only a small mouthful as the need to breathe heavily through her mouth overtook her thirst once more. She had trained herself to exhaustion before, but never deliberately until that night. Every day since her race against Soarin' she had been pushing herself, and the intensity of her new daily routine had accumulated to leave her at the point of physical weakness.

She lifted her eyes and peered out through bedraggled strands of her sweat-soaked mane at the field around her. She paused for a moment, blinking a few times experimentally before accepting that time had slipped by a little faster that day: it was already nightfall, no traces of the sunset on the horizon and in the middle of the south field of Sweet Apple Acres, there was little light to be had beyond that of the half moon and the stars overhead.

"Hey squirt, I should probably take you home tonight," she concluded aloud. "It's pretty dark, your parents are probably looking for you already."

Rainbow Dash waited for Scootaloo to respond, and, after what seemed like an unreasonable silence, she began looking about for the little pegasus. She eventually located Scootaloo, curled up around Tank – who had been watching them from the field every day. Rainbow Dash's ears drooped as she realised that both her pet and her assistant had fallen fast asleep. A small part of her contemplated just joining them, just giving in to her body's need for rest and falling asleep right there in the middle of the hay field under the stars. Another part of her, however, knew how frantic Applejack became when Apple Bloom went missing for more than five minutes, and she was sure Scootaloo's family were equally as concerned. Not wishing to have to explain herself to angry parents, Rainbow Dash forced herself to her feet and began trying to manoeuvre the sleeping filly onto her back.

As she carried out her task, Rainbow Dash silently wondered which part of Cloudsdale Scootaloo lived in. She could not actually remember – in much the same way she still could not really remember whose sister the little unicorn was. Once she had Scootaloo draped over her back Rainbow Dash tried to lift her wings, but found she could not raise them any higher than her shoulders, meaning she would not be able to fly in the near future. She could still walk – her legs were at least still functioning – but no amount of walking would get her to Cloudsdale that night.

Too tired to think and growing wearier with every passing second, Rainbow Dash squinted through the darkness at a familiar shape two fields away: the walk to the hay-barn was considerably shorter than the walk to Ponyville to enlist Fluttershy's help to get Scootaloo back home, and so, without any further thought on the matter, Rainbow Dash picked up Tank and put him on her back by Scootaloo and started for the barn.

The next morning, Rainbow Dash was awoken in her least favourite way: by the sound of a shouting voice. She lifted her head, screwing up her face as a beam of sunlight hit her eyes. She blinked away the vestiges of sleep and gave her head a small shake, refocusing her attention on her surroundings. She was laid on top of a square hay-bale and Tank was at her side. They were inside the Apple family hay-barn, the doors of which were open just slightly, letting in the blinding ray of sunlight. Scootaloo was hopping about by the opening, leaning forwards to peer out the opening and then leaping back over and over. She looked worried, which was not a look Rainbow Dash had ever seen on the fearless filly before. Her interest piquing at that thought, Rainbow Dash began to concentrate on the shouting voice – which seemed to be coming from outside of the barn, just beyond the doors.

"You should know better!" the shrill female voice ranted. "You have a filly the same age under your care – is this what you consider acceptable guardianship? If your little sister disappeared one night and didn't come home and then you found out she had been sleeping in a barn with a stranger would you be happy?"

"Nope."

Rainbow Dash was suddenly wide awake: the voice that had answered the angry mare sounded like Big Macintosh.

"I've been out all night looking for that girl!" the mare continued. "She's rebellious at the best of times, I don't need somepony leading her astray! As the responsible adult here I expect you to look out for Scootaloo when she comes here with her friends! This farm is your property, when those fillies are playing here, their safety is your responsibility!"

"Eeyup."

"If this is how it's going to be – if you're going to let her stay out all night without even bothering to call me and let me know where she is – I can't allow her to come back here."

Scootaloo shot out of the barn with an anguished cry and began pleading with the mare outside not to ban her from visiting Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow Dash stood up, accepting that keeping Scootaloo out all night had been her fault, and she crossed the barn intent on telling the mare outside – who was apparently Scootaloo's mother – not to blame Big Macintosh or ban Scootaloo from coming to the farm. As she reached the doors she caught sight of Big Macintosh through the gap. He looked solemn and was amazingly still standing upright with his head held high despite the shrill mare yelling at him. Rainbow Dash stepped closer and saw Scootaloo and the shadow of the angry pony, but before she could see exactly who the voice belonged to the doors suddenly slammed shut, closing out the light and the scene outside a mere fraction of a second after Rainbow Dash noticed that it was Big Macintosh's hind leg that had kicked the doors closed.

She was so taken aback by his actions that Rainbow Dash simply stood staring at the join between the two doors, blinking purposefully, half-expecting that each time she reopened her eyes the doors might suddenly be parted once more. She only awoke from her trance when she realised that the voices outside had silenced and somepony was moving towards the doors. She then shook off her confusion, impatience and indignity rising, and she yanked open one of the doors, finding herself face-to-face with Big Macintosh.

"Why the hay did you shut me in?" she demanded.

When he did not immediately answer her, she looked from left to right, finding no trace of Scootaloo or the pony who had come to collect her.

"And where'd the other ponies go?" she added, fixing her eyes on Big Macintosh again.

It was only then, the second time that she looked directly at him, that Rainbow Dash noticed the way Big Macintosh was watching her.

"Don't look at me like that!" she snapped defensively. "I tried to take the kid home last night, but I was too tired to fly back to Cloudsdale! I didn't know her old lady would be such a nag! I don't know what that nag's problem was anyway: I'm not some random weird pony who goes around stealing other ponies' foals and forcing them to stay out all night! The kid wanted to be there! She could have gone home! She was holding the watch, she knew what time it was better than I did!"

Rainbow Dash paused, waiting for Big Macintosh to comment; but instead all he did was tilt his head to one side slightly.

"I don't have to justify myself to you!" she added.

He tilted his head slightly further.

"I'm too busy for this," she scoffed. "I got weather duties, I got loads more training to do, I gotta figure out a way to get that kid back out here tonight and I've gotta big race at the Wonderbolts Headquarters tomorrow and I don't have time to talk to you right now."

She started to walk on, aiming herself in the general direction of the farm gates – her wings were still aching from the day before, and so she decided to give them a much needed rest until she had to go to work and start training again. As she passed Big Macintosh she heard him mutter something and she stopped instantly, turning her head to look back over her shoulder at him.

"What was that?" she asked defensively.

He looked back over his shoulder but his eyes were not on hers.

"What are you looking at?" she demanded.

He did not move, and, after a few silent seconds it occurred to Rainbow Dash that his eyes were directed at something in the region of her hindquarters, and she started to grow angry.

"Hey!" she snapped. "Stop staring at me like that!"

"Ya gotta weathervane in yer tail," he plainly replied, keeping his eyes lowered.

"That may be the case, but that's no reason to stare at me like that!" she argued back.

"Nope, ya gotta weathervane in yer tail," he repeated.

"What's that supposed to mean anyways? "You've got a weathervane in your tail"? Is that like some new earth pony way of saying you like my a–"

"Rainbow Dash, you've gotta weathervane in yer tail."

Rainbow Dash spun around to direct her back end away from Big Macintosh's eyes – but as she did so, she heard something scrape against the ground and felt a dull tug at the base of her tail. Her eyes began to widen as she noticed the line in the dirt path from the barn doors to where she was standing and the semi-circle her turning motion had just created. Looking back over one shoulder, she saw that her tail was so frizzy and tangled from wind-damage during all her training the day before, all six colours had merged into one.

And she had a weathervane in her tail.

"Ah!" she yelped, turning from side to side to look over each shoulder repeatedly, her actions dragging the tip of the arrow of the weathervane through the dirt, drawing an erratic pattern behind her. "What do I do?" she cried. "What's the fix for this? Do I run it under cold water or put peanut butter on it? What do I do? What do I do?"

Rainbow Dash was so distracted by the sight of the pewter alicorn standing atop a cross tipped with the letters "N", "E", "S" and "W" entangled seemingly permanently in her tail that she did not notice Big Macintosh moving to her side until she felt his hoof gently touch her flank, halting her side-to-side movements. She moved her eyes from her tail to his hoof, which was big enough to fully cover her cutie mark, and then finally moved her eyes to his. He looked worried, which only served to inflame her anxiety.

"Will I have to go to the hospital and get it amputated?" she wailed, logic falling prey to her panic.

"Nope," Big Macintosh plainly replied. "It's stuck in there pretty good though."

"What do I do?" she demanded again.

"Quickest fix would be to just cut it free."

"Cut off my tail?"

"Eeyup."

"Cut off my entire tail?"

"Nope, not the entire tail, just–"

"You can't cut off my entire tail! I can't fly without it! I need it for rudderage when I'm turning!"

"I don't reckon the length of yer tail would make a difference for that. It's only the spine of yer tail ya use for steerin'. You could cut all the hair off and you'd still get the same function."

"I need my rainbow tail when I'm performing my Super Speed Strut! That move looks twenty percent cooler with a rainbow tail – a long rainbow tail! You can't cut off my tail!"

Big Macintosh removed his hoof from Rainbow Dash and started to walk around the back of her, but she quickly leapt into the air, intent on flying away before he could remove her tail; but between her still weakened wings and the weight of the metal weathervane pulling painfully at her tail she only managed a brief hover a few inches above the ground before she dropped down again.

"I'll go see Twilight," she concluded.

Big Macintosh frowned.

"She can use a magic spell to untangle it," Rainbow Dash explained.

She then started towards the farm gates again. The tugging on her tail was only mild when she was walking, but she could still hear the tip of the arrow dragging along the path behind her as she went. She expected one of the Apple family to stop her before she left – Granny Smith would no doubt be irate when she noticed that her precious weathervane was missing – but none did, and, ignoring the stares and whispers as she passed through Ponyville, Rainbow Dash made it to Twilight Sparkle's front door uninterrupted.

"Oh, hey Rainbow Dash," Spike greeted her as he opened the door. "Whoa! What happened to you?"

"Save it, lizard boy," Rainbow Dash warned him.

She walked forwards and he stepped back out of her way to allow her entry, but he continued staring, wide-eyed and slack-jawed up at her.

"Where's Twilight?" she asked.

"Hey Dash, you've got a weathervane stuck in your tail!" Spike gasped.

Rainbow Dash growled in frustration. Her increased anger was mercifully brief as Twilight Sparkle entered the room, an open book surrounded by a faint purple glow hovering in the air ahead of her.

"Who was that at the door, Spike?" she asked.

The book started to lower to allow Twilight Sparkle to look over the top of it; but as she caught sight of Rainbow Dash she gasped and her concentration broke, her book falling to the floor.

"Goodness, Rainbow Dash!" she exclaimed. "What happened to you? You look terrible!"

"I know!" Rainbow Dash groaned, rolling her eyes. "Can you get it out?"

"Get what out?" Twilight Sparkle echoed.

"The weathervane that's stuck in my tail?" Rainbow Dash replied sarcastically.

"You have a weathervane stuck in your tail!"

Rainbow Dash frowned, vaguely sensing that she was missing something; but she came back to her senses when her friend approached her tail, rubbing her chin with a hoof as she inspected it.

"What d'ya think, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked hopefully. "Can you magic it outta there?"

"It's really wrapped up in your tail," Twilight Sparkle replied. "I don't know a spell to untangle something from a tail, but I do know a spell for untying knots."

"My tail isn't a piece of string!" Rainbow Dash snapped.

"The principle is probably the same…"

"I know a spell for untangling things! It's on page 34 of this book!"

A book flew across the room and slapped Twilight Sparkle in the face. Rainbow Dash looked up to the source the book had launched from, finding Pinkie Pie crouched on the third shelf of one of the walls of books.

"How did you get up there?" Twilight Sparkle asked her.

"She's Pinkie Pie," Rainbow Dash said flatly.

"I guess that's the answer and the reason to any question involving Pinkie Pie," Twilight Sparkle agreed. "Now let's see…"

The unicorn began skimming through the details of the spell Pinkie Pie had suggested while Rainbow Dash impatiently tapped a hoof against the floor at her side.

"Okay, I think I've got it," Twilight Sparkle concluded after her third reading of the spell. "I'm not sure you're going to like the result though."

Rainbow Dash started to ask what exactly that last statement meant, but her words were shortly drowned out by the humming and crackling sound of Twilight Sparkle's horn generating magic energy. A blast of purple light shot out from the tip of her horn, engulfing Rainbow Dash's tail momentarily before fading away again.

"That didn't do anything!" Rainbow Dash complained.

"Ooh, yes it did!" Pinkie Pie said, appearing suddenly between Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. "Look! The bend in the weathervane is fixed now!"

"That's no help to anyone!" Rainbow Dash snapped.

"It is to Heartstrings," Pinkie Pie replied.

"…What?" Twilight Sparkle muttered.

"That's her weathervane!" Pinkie Pie explained, pointing a hoof at the object still entangled in Rainbow Dash's tail.

"I don't care about the stupid weathervane!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Somepony just get the darn thing outta my tail!"

"How did it get in your tail in the first place?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"I don't know!" the pegasus replied.

"Didn't you feel it catching when you flew over–"

"No, no, no! Just fix it!"

"I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, I don't think I can. I can try my untie spell, but–"

"Do it."

"But it–"

"Just do it already!"

"Okay…"

Again a purple glow of magic energy grew around Twilight Sparkle's horn and again it blasted out towards Rainbow Dash's tail. The pegasus grunted and twitched as she felt a few dull tugs at her tail, but she soon sighed in relief when she heard something fall to the ground behind her.

"Ooh…" Pinkie Pie said quietly.

"Hmm…" Twilight Sparkle mumbled.

"Why does nopony sound happy?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It hasn't fully worked," Twilight Sparkle carefully replied.

"What d'you mean?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"It untied the weathervane, not your tail," Pinkie Pie answered.

Rainbow Dash looked back over one shoulder to see that the direction arrow had fallen free from her tail, but the cross and alicorn were still as tangled into the hairs of her tail as ever.

"Do it again!" she ordered Twilight Sparkle with a thump of her hoof.

"It only works on inanimate objects," the unicorn replied. "Your tail is made of hair, a living substance; this spell isn't going to work. I'm sorry Rainbow Dash. I do have an idea though, let's–"

"Try a different spell!" Rainbow Dash demanded. "There's gotta be another spell in one of these books that can fix this!"

"I don't know that magic can fix this," Twilight Sparkle patiently explained. "This might be something we fix without magic. Either way, I know just the pony to give you all the right answers."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Tell me already!"

"Rarity."

Rainbow Dash scrunched up her face involuntarily.

"She's an expert on hair-care methods, magical and non-magical," Twilight Sparkle added. "She'll fix this in no time. And… Maybe she can help you with… Everything else you've got going on right now…"

"Fine."

Rainbow Dash sighed heavily and stomped out of the library, heading towards Carousel Boutique.

"Stupid Rarity," she grumbled under her breath as she went. "I mean she probably does know the best way to fix this, but I just know she's gonna give me a hard time about having rat's tails in my mane and chips in my hooves."

"You should let her give you a pony-pedi!"

Rainbow Dash flinched at the realisation that Pinkie Pie was bouncing along at her side.

"Why are you following me?" she asked the colourful earth pony.

"Just checking," Pinkie Pie cheerfully replied.

"Checking what?" Rainbow Dash demanded as she roughly opened the door to Rarity's shop.

"That your new tail-do doesn't mean the Brony Code gets broken."

Rainbow Dash stopped and stared flatly at Pinkie Pie, who grinned back at her almost as neurotically as Scootaloo usually did.

"Really Pinkie, if you aren't going to share with us what this "Brony Code" is, you shouldn't keep teasing us by mentioning it all the time like that," Rarity said as she joined them. "It's rather unsporting of you and – oh my stars, Rainbow Dash! What happened to you? Your mane, your coat, your hooves – ah! Your tail! Good heavens, is that a weathervane in your tail? Oh the knots and the split-ends and the–"

"Can you fix it?" Rainbow Dash cut her off.

"Fix it?" Rarity repeated. "Years of wind damage, sun exposure and general neglect cannot simply be "fixed" in the blink of an eye!"

"I'm not asking you to blink at me I'm asking you to use your magic."

"Magic? It would take a miracle to fix this mess! Princess Celestia herself would be hard pressed to fix your hair with less than a month of deep conditioning, soft-bristled brushing and a general lifestyle change."

"I don't want pretty hair, I just want the weathervane outta my tail!"

"We'll have to cut it out of course."

"What?"

"It's the only option. If you struggle with it, even with the use of a spell, it will break your hairs and cause even more damage. We have to cut it out."

"I've already been through this with Big Macintosh and Twilight: you can't cut off my tail!"

"I'm not suggesting we cut your entire tail off. All we need do is trim very carefully around the parts that are tangled in the weathervane."

"…Won't I be left with a bald patch after that?"

Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a withering look, but the pegasus did not falter.

"I'll get my scissors," the unicorn eventually said.

Rainbow Dash glanced at Pinkie Pie, who still looked inappropriately cheerful. Opalescence was nearby playing with a ball of yarn and something shiny was floating through the air with the aid of a blue glow of magical energy. Rainbow Dash watched the shiny object grow closer, noticing that it was in fact a pair of scissors.

"Now we'll just trim in small sections, stopping between each cut to try to free the weathervane – the aim here is to cut off as little as possible," Rarity explained.

Rainbow Dash watched over her shoulder as the scissors moved towards her tail. She bit her lip and fought the urge to pull away.

"You love hair, so you're not gonna make this look stupid, right?" she asked.

"I will do my absolute best," Rarity promised, moving closer and adjusting her glasses before making the first tiny cut.

"I have to go to Canterlot tomorrow, I don't wanna look stupid," Rainbow Dash blurted out.

"You-you're going to Canterlot tomorrow?" Rarity asked, her eyes briefly lifting from her work to look directly at her friend.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash replied, realising then that she had not told any of her friends about her pending visit to the Wonderbolts' headquarters.

"Hey, are you girls going to Canterlot together?" Pinkie Pie asked excitedly.

"You're going to Canterlot tomorrow too?" Rainbow Dash asked nervously.

She did not really want any of her friends going with her in case she bombed out on the Wonderbolts' racetrack: usually she was confident of victory, but after Soarin' defeating her so completely on her favourite race track, her ego had taken a little bit of knock.

"Yes, I am," Rarity replied, making another small incision in Rainbow Dash's tail. "I have business there."

"Business, right," Rainbow Dash agreed. "Yeah, me too. I've got business in Canterlot."

"What sort of business do you have in Canterlot, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Rainbow Dash bit back a curse against the pink pony.

"Weather business," she lied. "I have to, um, help with the weather there. There's a lot of new recruits on the Canterlot weather team and they needed an expert pegasus to teach them, so they asked for me."

"Oh wow, that's so cool!" Pinkie Pie chirped. "What sort of weather are you making tomorrow? Oh, I hope you make it sunny for Rarity's date!"

"Rarity's… Date?"

Rainbow Dash looked down at Rarity expectantly, finding the white unicorn looking a little whiter than usual.

"Yes, I have a date in Canterlot," she said slowly. "But it's really no big deal."

Rainbow Dash nodded.

"I get it," she said quietly. "You didn't tell me because you think I still care that you out-firsted me at dating."

"Oh Rainbow no!" Rarity insisted. "I just didn't want to bore you with it, that's all!"

"It's fine," Rainbow Dash growled. "Have you finished back there yet?"

"Almost done."

Rainbow stamped her hooves and huffed and puffed for a few more minutes before Rarity finally stepped back. She turned around, seeing the weathervane on the floor of the boutique, still decorated by frizzy strands of her wind-damaged multi-coloured hair.

"How bad is it?" she asked, walking over to a screen of full-length mirrors.

Before she even looked to the mirrors either side of her or began turning around, Rainbow Dash could see that her tail was substantially shorter. She could also see that she looked terrible – and suddenly she understood why everypony who had met her that day had looked at her so oddly. Her coat was dulled by dried in sweat stains, her mane was windswept and to the point where it no longer sat in six clean and clear stripes of colour but rather in a fuzzy blend that changed from red to purple down her neck. She reluctantly began to turn and saw that her tail was even worse – with all six colours emanating from one point, the hairs had become so intertwined that her tail was just one colour (a sort of greeny-orange) – and the once glorious banner of colour that trailed in the air behind her during her awesome aerial adventures was suddenly only half as long and had a few random chunks missing.

"We can tidy it up," Rarity insisted, joining her by the mirror. "Let's go to the spa – I know it's not your thing, but a good bath and some expert hair care will help, and then I can trim it into a much prettier style for you."

"It's so short," Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Lots of ponies have short tails!" Rarity offered.

"Those are all colts and stallions though," Pinkie Pie added.

Rainbow Dash sighed and hung her head: she was going to look ridiculous when she met Soarin' again.

"A nice skirt might help with that too."

Rainbow Dash lifted her head again, moving her eyes to Rarity's reflection.

"A skirt?" she asked.

"Yes," Rarity said with a nod of her head. "To, you know, preserve your dignity."

Rainbow Dash looked at the reflection of her backend again and started in alarm as she realised the point Rarity was trying to so subtly make.

"You can see my… I need my tail to hide my… Everything's so… I can't go out like this!" she panicked.

"Now you see why I was so worried!" Pinkie Pie said, nodding sagely. "If you go around like that the Brony Code will be violated for sure!"

"If I go around like this, I'll be violated for sure!" Rainbow Dash wailed. "Rarity! Get me a tail-wig!"

* * *

><p>In the next chapter Rainbow Dash takes Scootaloo with her to the Wonderbolts' headquarters. The training facility is not as daunting as Rainbow Dash had expected, but as she passes the day with all the Wonderbolts, she begins to see another side to them.<p> 


End file.
